VALENTINE’S DAY NIGHTMARE

Valentine’s Day Nightmare Okay, let’s see…if I didn’t think things could get any worse than what they are now, man was I mistaken. Everything has gone back to being a nightmare again. That’s right, you guessed it, my mother is back with Dan. What am I going to do? Let me tell you the whole story from the beginning.

Well, Sunday mom and I had to go to Wal Mart and get some more stuff, such as a vacuum cleaner, broom, toilet paper, paper towel, and all that great stuff. Anyways, my mother ends up calling Dan and they were talking about him coming over to see the girls and that my mom would take him home that night. Ok I didn’t have that big of a problem with it. So we did our shopping and what have you, and we go and get him. They were all talking and whatever, and then we get home. I started cleaning the house before we left and when we got back I went back to cleaning. My mother did absolutely nothing!! All she did was sit her fucking ass on the couch with him and talk while they WATCHED me clean the rest of the house. I got mad because someone destroyed the bathroom that I had already cleaned and she took time out of talking to the fucking moron to say to me “don’t worry about it, I’ll get it.” I was like “no, it’s not that matter of who is going to get it, it’s the fact that I cleaned it and then someone has to trail behind me and destroy it all over again.” She had nothing to say and she went back to talking with the fucking idiot. Then she ordered dinner. First she wanted me to go to the store and take the bottles and cans back, but then she got a ‘sudden stroke of genius’ and decides that she wants to drink beer with Dan around and he’s on fucking PROBATION!! Anyways, so instead of me going to the store she sends me to go pick up dinner. Ok, sure. I go get dinner. She also gave me money so I could put gas in my car because Nicole didn’t go to work at all last week. Great, so Brandon and I went to Newark so I could put gas in my car. Brandon goes to me “Manda, when you left the house smelt like a skunk!!” That’s when I knew that my mother had pot back in the house. She sold the shit out of the house this weekend. Yeah, the woman is like a walking illegal drug store. This weekend she sold weed to her friends out of the house, and she gives her prescription drugs out to people, like all her pain killers. So anyways, we get back to the house and the fucking moron and my mother are in her bed room and then they moved out to the laundry room, and by this time they are drunk, and they were talking about there relationship. My mom walked into the hall way and that when I heard it…they kissed!! I was talking to Megs and I told her that I had to go, I called Momma Flossie and I was like “Can I come over?” And she said yes. So I went there and cried. I came back home at about 11:30 that night and he was sleeping with my mother. I went to bed all upset. Normally I sleep with my door open so I can get air in my room, but that night I shut my door and locked it so she couldn’t get it. She went to the gym and she wanted me to go with her but I didn’t get up and get the door so she left. When I woke up at 11 that morning (this is the next day) she wasn’t back yet and it was just me, Courtney and Dan here. It was so weird. Ok, imagine this. Imagine that your house was full of Jell-O from the floor to the ceiling and you are trying to walk through it. Doesn’t really work does it? Well that’s what my house feels like when he is around. Anyways, my mom got home at about 12ish and Courtney had to go down to the bus. Don’t Dan, her and Courtney go to the bus just like one happy family!! They got back and I was getting ready to go to class. She told me that she and Dan were going to K-Mart to get the girls there new bunk bed. I left for class and I was hoping, the key word is hoping, that he would have been gone. NOPE!! He was still here and my house was a disaster. Bed boxes all over, the Styrofoam that is in the boxes was flung all over, dirty dishes all over. I couldn’t believe it. I walked in from going to the gym and they were putting up the girl’s bed and drinking again. I was talking to my mom and the phone rang and she made this horrible reference to me. She was like “Holy shit!! Amanda’s not on the internet!!” I said nothing and I went and had some dinner. While I was eating I was watching “Days of Our Lives” and my mom came out of the girl’s room and does this huff thing and said “You know you guys, I need a little help in here!! This house is a fucking disaster!!” I wanted to hit her. She puts up this act when Dan’s around. Like she has to be a complete bitch to everyone to impress him. So after she said that I left for class an hour early. My class didn’t start until 7 and I was there at 6. So I sat in the campus parking lot talking to Grami and crying hysterically. I walked into class like that. Sue was talking to me and she gave me a number for a counseling office in Canandaigua. She also excused me from class so I went to Momma Flossie’s again and cried again. I ended up staying there last night. I didn’t get to sleep until about 3:30 this morning. I was hoping again that when I got home this afternoon that the fucking moron wouldn’t be there. So when I got home what did I find to my surprise? HE WAS STILL FUCKING HERE!! Sitting on my couch, watching my TV like he owns t

he fucking place!! I caught him looking at me and when I looked at him I could see in his eyes how much anger, and hate he has for me!! He looked like he wanted to lunge off the couch and hit me. Anyways, I was home for about 15 minutes and he got up to go get his stuff. Mom bought him candy for Valentine’s Day and I am assuming a card for his birthday since today was it. I also noticed that he bought her a rose. Anyways, Virgie called mom on her cell and they were talking. Dan walked over to my mother and told her that he was leaving so she put Virgie on hold and walked over to the door way and proceeded to MAKE OUT WITH HIM and I heard her say “Am I going to see you this week? Before the 20th for Courtney’s birthday party?” He said “I hope so.” They kissed again and then he walked off. I wanted to hit her. But I have putting up a good front. I am acting like nothing is wrong. I have yet to confront my mother but I don’t want to since every time I do she yells at me saying that I am the reason why that he left her in the first place and makes me feel like shit. So yeah, that was my Valentines present. My mom and Dan getting back together.

Pete also called me yesterday. We got talking and he told me that next year he is going back down to Florida because someone bought him a pony for Valentine’s Day and that he is going back down there to be a ’pony boy’ instead of a gate keeper. I was thinking that nothing more could happen to me. Then I told him about my mother and he didn’t really have anything to say so I come out and go:

“Can I ask you a serious question?”
Pete: “Sure.”
Me: “Do you even care?”
Pete: “No.”
Me: “Are you being serious or an ass?”
Pete: “I’m always an ass.”
Me: “Well put being ass aside for a moment and be serious. Do you even care?”
Pete: “About what?”
Me: “ME?!”
Pete: “Of course I do. What would make you ask a question like that?”
Me: “Because when I am like this, I just need to hear it.”
Pete: “If you ever end up like your mother I‘ll kill you. I‘d do it mercifully but I‘d kill you!!”
Me: “You don‘t have anything to worry about. I don‘t want to be anything like my mother. Not one bit!!”
Pete: “Good.”

Then I was going home to get my clothes to stay at Momma Flossie’s and we got talking about Irene. My favorite fucking person, other than Dan. He was telling me that she called him to tell him that her and Homer were dating. She was surprised that he wasn’t mad and he asked her why he would be mad as she was like “Because I’m with your friend and not you.” After he told me that I asked him if he likes Irene in that way. He said that he use to and I asked him what changed that and he said it was when she left him for, basically, him. She went down to Florida, this was over the summer last year, and she met this Matt kid and he was just like Pete and she told him that she couldn’t see him anymore because she was going to Florida to be with this kid because he reminded her of him. Then I said “Well I guess I was second choice, huh?” He was like “No, like my 5th.” I was like “ARE YOU SERIOUS!!??” And he was like “No.” Then I told him again to be serious and he started to ramble off famous people that I wasn’t and then I told him to name people that could actually happen to him and he was being an ass and named off Mike, Homer and Mike and then me and told me that I was his 4th choice. I laughed and told him that I didn’t feel so bad because the other were guys. Then that subject was dropped and he talked to me until I got home. Then he let me go so he could go to sleep. Before he let me go I told him to call me whenever just not in 5 day intervals. Yeah, I haven’t talked to him in 5 days. Yesterday was the first time since last Tuesday. So yeah. He has a month and 19 days until he’s home and I can’t wait.

Well I think that is it for the moment. I am typing this on Microsoft Works Word Processor and this entry is 3 pages long. Man I can type a lot, but hey, I had a lot to say. I just don’t know what to do. He can’t come back or else I am going to lose it and Pete isn’t here to save me. What to do?! PLCG!!

-A*