Irritation

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[listening] Hoopeston “The Reason“
[time] 11:54am
[mood] A little bit irritated
[drink it down] Nothing
[take it off] Pjs
[talking to] No one at the moment

Well hey there everyone, how are we today? It is the day before wonderful Easter!! Woo Hoo!! I don’t know why I am so excited because I am just a tad bit irritated at the moment. Last night I went out with Leah and she was telling me some things that her and Nate were talking about. Well he told her that he still loved me and that he let me go a few weeks ago. Plus if I truly loved him, I wouldn’t be doing what I was doing. I asked Leah what he was talking about and she said that he said me being with Pete. WHOA!! I‘m suppose to just sit around and be miserable and watch him be happy with someone else?! I don’t think so. And he also told her that if I wanted him back like I say I do I would be working much harder. HELLO!! I already told him that after I got all the threats from his “future family“ I decided to just let him go and be with someone else. This is absolute bull shit that he is feeding her. I am just so friggin irritated right with him it is not funny. I can’t believe he had the nerve to say half the shit that he told her. So after she said that to me I asked her if she knew that him and I breaking up is part of the reason why I fell apart and am on anti-depressants? She said no, and so I told her part of it is that. I told her to fill him on that. Oh, he also had the balls to say that I blew it!! I blew it by being with someone else!! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and punch something. I was so pissed at what she had to say. But after he told her all of this, he made her promise to not say anything to me. She told me anyways. I just can’t really express what I feel at this moment. I mean sure part of me is always going to love him since he is my first love, but there is so much that happened that I just can’t forget. I really don’t think there could ever be another chance for him and I in this life time. I am happy who I am with and that is that. I am not going to jeopardize what I have for something that I don’t and for someone who is just going to dick me around.

Well I am going to get out of here. I am just overly mad right now it is not funny. When I call Pete tonight I am going to tell him everything that he said. PLCG!!

-((Amanda))-