I wonder….

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x Tic Toc: 11:19pm
x Dressed In: PJ‘s
x Hair Style: Combed and down
x Music: Nothin
x Chit-Chat: No one
x Feeling: Like this nightmare never ends, and why can‘t things go back to normal

<I’VE strike you…Well lets see…I’ve been watching “Freaky Friday“ everyday now for the past 2 days about 3 times a day…my little sisters LOVE that movie!! And so I thought it would only be appropriate to put up something to do with the movie and look who I found…Chad Michael Murray a.k.a Jake!! HOTTIE!! Anyways…

Well I’m back in this nightmare!! My mom says that her and Dan aren’t together but that is why he’s been here the past couple of nights, them sleeping together and them kissing!! I can‘t have him back here or I’ll lose all my sanity!! I called Pete tonight and ranted to him for a little bit about this. He said that he is willing to kill him for me so I don’t live through this again. I can‘t have him do that, even though I would love nothing more for him to do so. I am going to need a lot of counseling for all of this. All the pressure that was lifted off of me has now been put back on top of me again. What the fuck did I do to deserve this shit?!

I‘ve been thinking a lot about the other night with Pete and how much I want to go back to it and be in his arms and hear him say again that he loves me. No matter what happens, I will make it a point that I end up with him. I love him so much. When I am not with him, it feels like I can‘t breath. When I am with him I can breath and I feel hole. But when I am not with him, it feels like something is missing. Like I‘m lost in a big patch of fog. I don’t know how to explain it any other way. I wish I could tell him all of this. I don’t know how. I‘ve tried writing him a letter but every time I do write it I always rip it up. I don’t know. I think it‘s because people see me and him as something that‘s wrong, but to him and I it‘s perfectly right. All I want to do is wake up with him…

Alright, I‘ve now depressed myself even more, so I am going to go to my room and go to sleep. Night everyone!! PLCG!!

-((Amanda))-

 

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February 21, 2004

Chad Michael Murray one word H-O-T-T!!!I am not worthy.Freaky Friday best movie ever!Got the DVD i’ll watch it 2morrow.Bye!!

i so wanna watch freaky friday i still have not seen it!

dude thanks a million for al ure help ure really nice…and yeah could you show me how to put it into entries like u said? I’m a bit slow hahaha thanks a million again

HEY HUN I HAVENT SEEN OR TALKED TO U IN FOREVER!!! its gunna be ok. trust me, i kno i say it everytime but so far it was good with pete and all…dont let dan ruien ur life hes a fckn drunk @$$hole. ur my slick sox and im ur scooter and ill always be here for u so jus call if u need to chat!!!!! love always junior

Wow – very deep you will have to let me know how things are going at the ol home front. sorry things seem so confusing and disturbing! I luv your diary i prob stayed up to late reading it – and i saw my name!!!! were u on a mission with all those survey’s u filled out lol!!! take it easy kiddo! Beckie

hey well i wont see u today (monday) b/c im home sick and it sucks b/c tomorrow is my b-day and i might have pneaumonia. soo yea for the next cupple weeks i might not be in school if i do have it b/c when i get it i get really really sick and it sucks!!! at 2:30 i have to go to the Dr. i hate doctors!!! well ive got to go hun! PLCG!!! love always Junior

i know i gotta rent it out and see it soon

hey its me again haha…can u do an example of how a code should look like? Cuz i really can’t do it. Soz haha.

February 23, 2004

try letting him read a couple of ur diary entries where u talk about him and how u feel. just write in here like normal, not even thinking about him reading it, and then print it out, or give him the name of ur diary and have him read ur entries. good luck!