LETTING GO!!

Ok this is whats goin on…I LET NATE GO!!! *CRIES* I am so upset its not funny. Well I cant really get into detail cause people will run back and tell him that I said something different, but Ill tell you some stuff. Well he has been in the park for the past 2 weeks, and hes been stayin at Heathers. I saw him everyday and everything. It was great. But yeah…I pushed him away. Im sorry for it. Then this past week things have been strange. Stuff to do with Lauras brother Britt, and then stuff with Nate…blah blah blah. But again, cant go into detail. Then yesterday I was watchin the kids and my mom came to Heathers and I was there with just Nate cause Heather went out. She freaked. So Ive been crying since midnight of last night and its now 12:08pm. 24 hours. But I came up with this year thing to see if Nate and I can get our s**t together and in a year…and that year will be my 18th birthday…if our s**t is all back into an orderly fashion we HOPEFULLY can restart our relationship. He cried…or at least had tears in his eyes when I said what I said to him about the year thing. It was the most hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. This isn’t going to be easy. And I understand that. Life isn’t easy…you have to take the good with the bad…the easy with the difficult. We are still gonna be friends and everything, but that’s it. We are going to date other people…maybe…and do what we want to do or have to do. We are still gonna talk on the phone just not as much. I am going to call once and hes gonna call once in the same week. But I have this really big feeling that I did something wrong. *CRIES MORE* I love him everyone…I promise. Its real true unconditional love!!

Well I am gonna go cause I am so depressed right now that I cant stand to be in this kitchen. I just want to lock myself in my bedroom and not come out. PLCG!!

*~*AMANDA*~*

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