Still Has Job + Face Hopefully

 YO YO YO.  Wrote an entry about DW’s friends and feeling shitty because I think I’m kinda hanging onto this relationship because I don’t want to give up regular sex , but fuck it, wanna think it over before I make sweeping statements about (A) people I don’t know very well and (B) my horrid, unlovable personality flaws.

I talked briefly with my new boss (old boss retired), and he’s pretty overwhelmed and nervous right now, but made a point to tell me I’m definitely producing a lot of work “by comparison,” which I can only assume means I’m doing better than Creepy Predecessor.

Sidenote:  Entire first conversation with Creepy Predecessor consisted of him staring unabashedly at various parts of my body, literally never making eye contact, and then continuing to stare from his convenient sitting position as I turned around to talk to my trainer, for probably a solid 30 seconds.  Super happy I didn’t have to train with that guy, man. 

Also he sounded/looked kinda like Norm McDonald.  So.  Just imagine Norm McDonald staring at your ass/tits for two minutes while you stand awkwardly next to his cube, forced to make small talk as though he were actually treating you like a human being. 

Yep.  That’s probably an uncomfortably accurate mental image of my first day.

Anyway, it’s awesome to know I’m doing better, because he’s been doing this job for two years and I really didn’t know why they’d give me this job if he re-applied?  But apparently I’m the BEST even though I only do like 4 hours of work a day.

Okay, okay, I’m better than that now, but still.  Still a lot of YouTube browsing, folks.  Apparently Creepy Predecessor (CP for short ha ha CP) did even less somehow?

Just talked to my coworker, too, cos I’ve been meaning to check in with her and see if I’m doing things right, or if she and CP had some kind of agreement as to who worked on which groups, but nah.  Apparently we’re all just flailing through this job we only half-assedly learned.  …Yay?

Holy fuck though, I wanna go home and get stoned and make mix CDs right now, man.  I am donesies with this day.  But not really since I got in at 10 like a tool.

Gotta be here at 9 tomorrow for a meeting.  I will fucking remember and I will get my ass out of bed at 7 and I will not hit snooze.  I WILL NOT HIT SNOOZE.

I’m seriously fucking tired of this betterworse stage of whatever emotional crap I’m going through.  Like, yeah, I kind of feel almost motivated to exist sometimes, but then other times shit hits me like a brick to the face and I go down hard, can’t pick myself back up, just have to lie there in pain and hope it stops soon.  Like, ya know.  Saturday.

I know, I know, that’s life, that’s the struggle, THAT’S HIP-HOP, but how am I supposed to convince myself that this is positive progress when sometimes it makes me want to tear my face off and feed it to cannibal ducks?

Okay, maybe got a bit too dark there.

Gotta send out some stupid PACT shit now whatever PACT stands for, I don’t even care and I send out like 20 a day, HOORAY