At Least I Have Data Entry To Look Forward To * *

 Went to a fucking festival with my brother and his wife.  They decided they wanted to hang out at my place, went to find a bathroom while I went to find DW (he just got there) to tell him we were leaving, and then they texted me to tell me they decided to go to Home Depot instead, thanks for hanging out, bye now.

So, yay.  Found DW, said bye, walked home.  Now, 2 hours after leaving the house, I’m back home and alone and I walked 3 miles for no fucking reason.  HOORAY.

This is why I don’t socialize.

EDIT: So one of DW’s friends is at the fest right now, posted on FB that there are too many people so they’re heading to the bar right by my place.  Probably gonna stop in and say hi to them.  Even though it’s a little weird, since this dude’s wife is best friends with DW’s ex-wife.  BUT.  They’re super cool people and I don’t think she hates me or anything.  It’s just weird.  I’ve never hung out with DW’s friends when he’s not around.  Not sure if they really want me to come, they probably don’t know he’s not with me. :/

Don’t talk yourself out of it, idiot.  Just be social and don’t sit around complaining all night, ‘kay?

Oh, someone suggested I could stick around at the fest, talk to strangers n’ stuff.  I really do mean to do stuff like that, but… Eh.  First off, this is in West Seattle, which is pretty much Families and Older People Central.  Which I not only don’t really have much in common with (usually), but they stay pretty tight with their groups.  Their groups that usually include children.  Blech.

On a more positive note: I’ve found the catchy song I’m going to listen to obsessively all summer and despise by mid-October! 

EDIT 2: HEY LET’S WHINE SOME MORE, never heard from the dude so here I am, still alone in my apartment yay.  No blame there; I really don’t hang out with those people, but fuck this day fo serious.  Fuck it all the way to town.

All I wanted to do was get LAID this weekend, man.  It’s been a week and a half or something and I’ve seen him like 5 times and I haven’t gotten any orgasms out of the deal and now there’s another week to go before I even.  Whatever.  I just don’t want to fucking be alive tonight.  I want to pass out and stop existing for 36 hours so I can just go to work and not fucking hate everything, and I’m simultaneously frustrated with my inability to kill this shitty mood, because I’ve gotten so much better at that in the last two years but fuck it.  Fuck all of it.  Fuck all the positivity in the world, fuck how I feel right now.  I want to throw things at walls.  I want to burn everything down.

Remember when I thought not having feelings was BAD?  I would do just about anything to get back to where I was a week ago.