knock knock who’s there deathly exhaustion *

 Holy shitballs I am tired.

 
Slightly hungover, majority just exhausted.  Went to bed at 1, lied awake until 5.  Wasn’t even DW’s snoring this time.  I mean, that was an element.  But I went to go sleep on the couch and still couldn’t.  Then a ringing started in one of my ears.  It felt like microscopic bats were attacking my cochlea.  At first I thought it was the fridge or something, until I took my ear plugs out and realized it (A) was still the exact same volume and (B) was only happening in one ear.
 
Fuck you, ears.
 
Mostly, though, I just legit could not sleep.  My brain kept drifting into happy land for about thirty seconds, and something else kicked it and said "hey no we’re not doing that, instead let’s think about how little sleep we’re gonna get unless you fall asleep right now."
 
Been a while since I got caught in that loop.  Fucking hate it.
 
Oh man, and to top it off, I got all paranoid that I was going crazy.  Like there were two versions of me in my head, and one of them was angry at the other one.  And if there are two of me in there, then I’m not real and oops, self-induced ego loss sort of?
 
5 AM JESS IS NOT GOOD AT REASONABLE THOUGHTS.
 
Strangely, I’ve been more productive today than I’ve been all week, simply because I don’t have the energy to be interested in anything else.  Tried to write a tweet earlier.  Gave up halfway through.  If you can’t even produce 140 original characters, it’s a sign that perhaps your brain is fucking broken.
 
So I just mindlessly did spreadsheets and halfway paid attention to panel shows playing endlessly in the background.  Youtube playlists are a bitch, man.  You put an episode on and don’t even realize you’ve watched 4 more until the day is over and suddenly you’re thinking in a vague, generalized British accent that’s a conglomerate of all the team captains.
 
If you’re me.  I guess.
 
Now, several hours later, the tired is hitting me all at once, and I just wanna go hooooome, but I have to wait for, uh what’s her name Amy to go home since she’s the only one who saw me come in (At 10) and she leaves at 5:30 usually which is 16 MINUTES AWAY WOOOOOO maybe i’ll just nap in the bathroom stall until then.  Or under my desk. They just turned the printer off for the day (right outside my cube) so no one will be coming this way anyway, right? riiiiiight, she says to herself, justifying terrible decisions with much larger potential consequences than potential gains.
 
Nah it’s cool, i’ll probs make it to the bus before I pass out.  Then it’s a fun adventure of where-the-fuck-did-I-just-wake-up.  EVERYONE’S FAVORITE GAME.
 
Okay this entry serves no purpose other than to pass a few minutes of time with my eyes still mostly open.  So fuck it.  Donesies now.
 
 
EDIT: Okay girl, it is 5:25 and you are not even packed up.  GET OUT SO I CAN LEAVE UGH.
 
Just realized my side is covered in bug bites.  That’s always a joy to realize happened while you were naked and unconscious.  Last night I was super paranoid that my couch had bugs or something, and now it turns out maybe I’m right?  Or maybe I’m just ALLERGIC TO NOTSLEEP, known to some as wake, i’m allergic to wake, make it stop before i go into wakeshock