April 9, 2013

That’s All, Folks*

Last day took 2 hours longer than it was supposed to, but on the plus side, I may have made a friend on the way out the door. AND he lives in like 2 blocks from me, apparently. And, whatever, gets my internet jokes or something. He seemed interested in lively conversation about various topics! IT’S LIKE THE TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF A FRIEND.

Anyhoo. That. And I didn’t eat all day and I whined a whole bunch to TP about how everything sucks, and he gave decent advice and I stayed depressed anyway and now The Bro + Co and DW are on their way over and then it’s FOOD TIME and then I DON’T HAVE TO PUNCH ANYONE YAY.

I still can’t make my rent this month and now I’m spending money on food because I never grocery shopped in such a way that would allow me to cook right now. I’m frustrated and sad and angry with myself and I’m afraid nothing will ever change.

But it motherfucking WILL because it HAS and things get better and I’m fine.

But hungry.

So, ya know, srsly. Food now plz.

*And then OD failed to save my fucking entry properly and I nearly slapped the laptop off my desk SERIOUSLY HOW DID I LET IT GET THIS BAD

The ill-made knight

April 10, 2013

It will be okay. It will. Good food and good sleep help the process.

l'anguish.

aw, i’m so glad your people are bringing you food. obnoxiously practical question, ’cause i’m curious: can you get any kind of state assistance for food/rent?

Narrator

*hugs* Food matters so much, I can’t even. I do this to myself a lot – sort of let things slide, I’ll eat later, I feel kinda grumpy and low but I’ll eat just after I blahblah, and then: hey – while do I feel so awful? I am glad you have people who will bring you food/drag you out for food, and make you feel appreciated – b/c you’re awesome. Yes, you.

Maybe I’m misinterpreting, but you say it like it’s a bad thing to not be fine. You say “I’m fine” like you think that’s what you need to be. Well, I don’t know about other people, but *I* think it’s okay to not be fine. It’s alright to be frustrated and sad and angry. Even if you know that things will get better, that’s a great thing to remember in the back of your mind, but it’s still alright tofeel those unhappy feelings. I know I haven’t read you that long, but you don’t STRIKE me as someone who wallows indefinitely and just wants to have rainclouds over their head all day every day, so if you need to take a break and just feel upset for awhile, that’s okay. Hell, go ballistic if you want to. We all need it sometimes.