Feels*

I feel angry and sad and lonely today.

 
I really want some fucking weed.
 
 
EDIT: AND. I spent four fucking hours reading this raging piece of shit because DW is in love with it.  It’s disgusting and, well.  Not "sexist," per se, as much as "extremely condescending toward anyone with feminine qualities, but dodges the ‘sexist’ bullet by claiming these traits have nothing to do with your sex"…ist.
 
I scribbled angry notes in it, wrote a 3-page document (in 10-point single-spaced Times) about how much it pissed me off, and now my head won’t stop spinning.  Sat down with The Walking Dead and I’ve calmed down a little.  Just a little.
 
I don’t want to believe that he believes any of this shit.  It hurts me to think he does.
 
More than I want to admit to myself, I think.
 
I feel like my dad could have written it.  My dad combined with a low budget motivational speaker and a Buddhist who never bothered to read about his own fucking religion.
 
I know he’s smarter than this, but how could he buy into it?
 
Sometimes I wonder about the people I choose to love.  Whether I’m just… convincing myself I’m getting better, when really I’m just picking my father over and over again in different ways.
 
But i know that’s not true this time.  I know he just got… caught up in the concept of it and didn’t read it rationally.  He’s one of the most respectful/feministic dudes I know.  I just.  This was a blow to my respect for him.
 
But he took a huge risk loaning it to me, knowing I would possibly feel that way about it, so I’m going to try really hard not to present my opinion that way.
 
Also, thanks, OD, for doing that fucking thing again where you don’t post my entries in bookmarks.  I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT

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February 24, 2013

Whoa…reading the title of that book makes me feel like I just got cunt-punched. Damn. Now I’m intrigued. I might read that. It might make me angry. It’ll probably be unfathomable. But who knows?

February 25, 2013

” respect the cock, tame the cunt!’

February 25, 2013

Ugh, so the whole “feminine qualities” thing makes this a book that COULD be sexist, if it weren’t also for them there queers? Eff that noise.

February 25, 2013

*eyeroll* guys are idiots. don’t worry about that stupid book.

February 25, 2013

That book looks awful, though I guess I can SORT OF see what he sees in it? In that people often see what they want to see, and I suspect that he wanted to see how to be a better man, and overlooked the sexist BS because he isn’t that way at all. That is my suspicion. Anyway I’d be outraged too. It was hard enough to handle my aunt giving me a cookbook called “Mad Hungry: Feeding Men and Boys.”