“More bowel updates, please!” said everyone
My horrible stomach cramps have turned to extremely mild stomach cramps when I eat or run. Yay! Now I’m mostly just clogged up and nasal and my throat’s a little sore. I drank some ginger tea with honey and lemon last night, popped some NyQuil and crashed around 9. Woke up at 5, predictably full of phlegm, but feeling fully rested and non-feverish. Laid in bed for another hour and got up at the last minute, as per usual, and I’ve been feeling progressively better throughout the day. I’m so glad, cos seriously, I was hella worried yesterday. I don’t know how much the doctor costs, but I can almost guarantee it’s more money than I have, even with my 80% medical coverage.
Well, I mean, I could afford a checkup, but if there’s something wrong and I needed medication or freakin’ surgery to remove organs, I’d be super fucked.
I requested time off for next week so I can go to Vancouver, but my boss has been ignoring/avoiding me for the last two days. I intend to send her a smiley-filled reminder about it.
There’s no reason she wouldn’t give it to me. She probably just wants to wait until Dawn’s back so I can ask her if she’s cool with covering for me, even though Dawn doesn’t have any time off scheduled next week, and she’s ALWAYS okay with covering? She’s the most laid back person ever, man. And even if she’s not okay with it, they can still make it work. Ugh. I want to get bus tickets NOW, goddamnit.
Dude, so who here has done dissociatives other than DayQuil? Like Ketamine and shit? (Before you reach the K-hole stage, I mean. I understand the appeal of that, to a degree.) Can you explain the appeal of feeling disconnected from your own existence? Even when it’s very mild, it’s just generally unpleasant to me. Or pointless. I don’t understand why anyone finds this interesting as a recreational experience.
I really have nothing else to say, but I’m so motherfucking bored and I have to cover reception for another 20 minutes. Christ, how many of my entries have at least one line like that? “I’m out of words but I’m at reception lolz.” I need more things in my life.
DW’s legit planning his trip back. He’ll be in Iowa by the 10th, and heading back a couple weeks after that. And, oh, I just looked at his Facebook, and it implies he left Mexico like 6 hours ago. (His latest status is "Adios Amigos," so I can only assume.) I guess it’s possible that his phone will be turned back on any minute. Weird.
So, yeah, I’m a little nervous about, uh. Everything happening all at once. Like, what if I wind up developing an emotional attachment to Ross RIGHT when DW gets back, and then realize I’m still into DW, and then I have to choose between them? But I can’t know until it happens. I’m not a huge fan of waiting, but at least "waiting" this time also involves "sexing."
I also know I’ll be happy to see him in any case. He’s a good person and I miss his energy.
Okay, I’m off reception and now I may shit myself if I don’t book it.
NO SUCH THING AS TMI
Hey, I did MXE, which is like Ketamine. Don’t swallow cough syrup, it has a lot of other ingredients that are only meant to be consumed at tea-spoon (or whatever) sized doses, and a psychedelic dose of cough syrup/DXM is several bottles… I have heard of people swallowing 6 or 12 of those. Disgusting. Like drinking mouth wash for booze. Anyway, MXE is still legal, so there’s no need.
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The dissassociative experience on low doses of MXE is a lot like being high and drunk at the same time. (All of these drugs are relevant to pain management.) You have lowered inhibitions and are numbed and distracted from your physical pain. After that, much like all psychedelics, it is very hard to describe… other than comparing it to dreaming.
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The great thing about MXE is that it totally replaces booze for me. It makes you dizzy and you definitely shouldn’t try to drive on it, but it doesn’t effect reaction time like booze, so you’re a lot more mobile. In that way it seems less disconnected from reality for me.
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MXE has not really been studied, so there could be something horribly wrong with it that I don’t know about, but I am assuming that it has a lot in common with Ketamine…but then again, PCP has a lot in common with Ketamine too. Anyway, Ketamine has been proven as a fast-acting anti-depressant with strong potential, especially for people with bipolar.
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Here is a description of my first experiences on MXE with as much detail as I could manage at the time. http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D548185&entry=10695&mode=date
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My one big psychedelic break-through (or break-down?) was through mushrooms, five separate times. Each trip was different, but three of them were actually pretty traumatizing (while tripping). And the last one, which would probably be defined as my worst, was the last time I did it. And then I was scared for a while even to smoke pot and drink alcohol. I wrote about it somewhere in my diary.
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I think that what I meant to say, besides being redundant with “the last trip was my last time”, lol, was that after that specific trip my curiosity felt extremely satiated. One might say I had gotten much more than I had ever bargained for.
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1. If you have some health vegan hipster food store near you (which …you should being where you live) try to find ginger chews…when my stomach got all stabby on me I’d eat a few of those and it’d help. 2. The whole appeal to dissociative experience is a bit like what placebo said, it’s kind of like being high and drunk at the same time, without being carted off to a jail cell becauseyou went to work like that. You can just say “dayquil, man” and everyone just understands. My sleeping pills do the exact same thing to me, and where at first I was saying to myself “lame, man, totally not cool, I just want to sleep.” I found myself actually fighting the sleep meds because of that same feeling. Also part of the reason I stopped taking the sleep meds haha.
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If you end up having to choose, just don’t choose Ross. That’s all. EASY PEASY. ~I’ll be
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RYN – Oh, man, IUDs. That’s what I’ve got to start researching! Okay, if you find anything share-worthy, please send a note my way, and I will do the same 🙂 And hey, I’m sorry about your mom. I really am. I heard about the links to breast cancer through birth control, and even though there isn’t a history of it in my family, it’s still a scary fucking thing. When my brother said “this copper thing” I had no idea wtf the he was going on about, lol.
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it’s kind of like saying, what if i get to choose between a shit sandwich and a bowl of broken-glass soup! either of these men have a lot to prove before they deserve to be that choice. make them work.
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There was a time in my life when I would walk across the border to Tijuana, get a scrip from my Mexican doctor for Valium (OG Roche, in the little brown bottle), and then buy two 50 ml bottles of Ketaject at the veterinary supply store downstairs, and haul it all back across the border. In a darkened room on a bed I IV’d the ketamine until I couldn’t see anymore to hit again, the visionslayered over the real, thicker and thicker. Why did I do it? Just to be someplace else, someplace other than where I was.
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Lolz.. What do you mean -*REALIZE* you’re still into DW??? 😉
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