A sensation like you are being watched

I don’t agree with that title
– Oh?
I don’t believe they can feel it
– Still, it’s worth romanticising isn’t it?
— I guess it is.
– You guess? You romanticise everything.
Some translation of prose
Statements like frames, artistic, cinematic
Encountered every day, requiring only a shift in perception
– No you’re expressing it from an external perspective. Your actual perception hasn’t shifted at all.
When I think about it, she may be right
— Perhaps an… evolution? Realisation?
– Realisation… awareness? I don’t know, the words don’t really fit. It’s something you’ve always done, always had.
This is not the first time she’s spoken as if she’s known me longer than I’ve known myself
– Is that uncomfortable?
— What? No, not at all. Nothing to do with comfort.
Conjures Origin of the Species
But translates it into the chicken and the egg
– Ladies first.
She says with a straight face, and it makes me give a small smile
She gleams at me in return
– I read what you wrote in your book. About us. About us watching.
Stare
— Even if that’s true,
And I stop
– What?
And what I have to say is;
Always with the wrong questions
Always with the wrong answers

She looks at it
At the words
Pensive
Inhale
Exhale
While I sit and type and think
– I guess… I wouldn’t really know.
True
– I don’t deal with them. Every day.
— I deal with you every day.
– Am I to be dealt with?
— I mean I interact with you every day.
– Am I hard to deal with?
— Not at all.
Pause
Looking at me
Looking at the words
Looking at me
– I want to be hard to deal with.
Back and forth
– I used to be hard to deal with.
I remember something I’ve said once
About relative effort/challenge/difficulty/reward
– That’s probably where I’ve gotten it.
— But romance? And the ideology of finally cultivating a deep intimacy?
Inhale
Sigh
At play again
– I guess. I miss it though.
Staring at the words
– That wild, chaotic time.
— You can be as chaotic as you like.
– It’s different.
So now I stare
— Find me a lover and I’ll show you chaos.
– I had that exact thought myself, I was going to tell you.
She leans back
Exhales
All the wrong questions
I look at the words
– Indeed.

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