Got your back

— What?
–
— What? You’re starin at me like you’re fucked or something.
– … I am fucked.
— Yeah but you’re permanently fucked, doesn’t count.
Eyebrows
– Fair enough.
— Want a beer?
– Depends, what is it?
— Homebrew, calls it Mexican. No idea what’s Mexican about it unless it means it’s nice. Here, try it, if you don’t like it, chuck it.
Clink
– Yeah not bad.
— Not bad ey? Mate of mine makes it.
– You guys brew your own beer now…
— Sure why not?
Eyebrows
Lift the bottle
Drink
– Guess I’ve seen stranger things.
— I bet you have.
His own beer
Drink
— Cheers.
Swallow
– What for?
— For the fuck of it.
Stare
– Right. Cheers. Saluti.
— Saluti, yeah, campai and all of that.
Drink
It is nice
Nicer than expected
— Eh, so.
– So…
— Are you keeping… abreast of current events?
– Not at all.
— Too busy running the show?
– Something like that.
— So I have some news.
– Right.
— That I know you don’t care about but I’m going to tell you anyway.
– Suit yourself.
— Some of them… may be getting in. From out there.
Stare
– OK.
— But the best part is, some of them… might be getting out.
Stare
Blink
Tip the bottle
Swallow
– I don’t see how that’s possible.
— It’s very very possible, and it got me to thinking,
Tip the bottle
Drink
— One of these days someone’s going to do something stupid and try and understand you.
Exhale
– Fuck.
— Yeah. You said it.
– What on earth brings you to that conclusion?
— Man it’s not logical, doesn’t have to make sense, just works.
And some kind of grin that says all at once
I have no idea what I’m saying | But I know it’s true | That should scare me, it’s really scary | But irrationally, I am not afraid, and also Because it’s so absurd it’s beyond worry and doubt and fear
– I have a theory.
— Do you now.
– I have a theory that in some ways, you’re resigned to death.
— Dead ringer, that one was easy.
– But not in the hopelessness kind of way, in the expectation of an end kind of way.
— How poetic of you to put it that way. You could also say that we’re all batshit fucking crazy and have no control over where anything is going.
Drink
– Yes… that would be a very you way of putting it.
— Indeed. Cheers.
– Cheers.
Drink
— Someone is going to try and understand you though.
And he isn’t drunk
No matter how many of these beers he’s had before he got here
Drunkenness is a fictional indulgence for these people
It doesn’t really exist
— Some of us are going to embrace it, some of us are going to run from it, some of us are going to want to fight it.
Stare
Staring
A penetrating gaze
– And?
— Who you have to be most aware of is those who will want to ignore it. They are the most instinctive among us, the oldest, the most agile, the most subtle.
Return stare
– And by us you mean you and I inclusive.
— Yes I do.
Eyes down
Then up to look out over the everything
– Jesus christ.
— Yeah.
Drink
Silence
– So you do what you want, I have to run the show.
— I thought you’d take that angle.
– If he doesn’t want to keep you in check, I’m certainly not going to do it.
— Have you spoken to him recently?
– Yeah we don’t talk, we just have this new brand of bizarre shit where we’re more fragmented than ever but at the same time know what one-another is doing.
— Eeee, right. I think I get it.
– You probably do, you’re smarter than you think.
— How smart do you think I think I am?
– Don’t fuck with me now, I’ve only had one beer.
— Have you been there recently? Seen it?
– Don’t tell me you have?
— Yeah sure. I go there whenever I want to scare the living shit out of myself.
– You? Afraid?
Stare
– Right.
— Hence all this talk of internals and externals and – what about snake-hair, do you know anything about her?
– I’ve met her.
— … And?
– And nothing. Nothing I can really talk about properly, it wouldn’t mean anything.
— So you and he, I mean you don’t really know much… I mean you know about each-other but…
– Yeah see, now you’re all fucked-up. Don’t try and define it, it won’t work. Anyway we don’t work that way remember? None of us.
— Yeah.
Sideways
— Yeah right. Part of your pragmatism rubbing off on me.
– Could do.
Drink
– You’re going to ask me again.
— How’d you know?
– Never-mind.
— So, what are you planning on doing when someone tries to understand you?
– Firstly, don’t assume that it’s going to happen. Raise an expectation too much and…
— Yeah yeah yeah, heard it all before. So what are you going to do?
Stare
Drink
Swallow
– Let’s just hope she’s gorgeous, intelligent, perceptive and very very patient.
— Jesus you don’t ask for much.
– Well, she’s going to have to get to know the likes of you lot, and by lot, I mean all of you.
Eyebrows
– Do you know how many of you there are?
— Never thought about it.
– Don’t think about it. There are a lot of you.
Face forward to look out again
– There are so many of you neither he nor I have met you all.
— What if she doesn’t believe you? Thinks it’s all bullshit?
– Then all the better for her, her opinion won’t change anything.
— Rightly so, but it’ll still suck.
– For a bit, but ultimately would you want to wake up to that kind of thing every morning?
— Fuck no.
– You see my point then.
— Indeed.
Stare
– You have one more question.
Grin
— Hey ah, why are we having this conversation in a public place?
Return with a sly but very serious face
– Oh but I’m not all practicality and pragmatism – creativity, provocation… laying the foundations as such, it’s all important.
Stare
— I think I know why you ended up running the place.
– Thanks.
— You know there’s more of him in you than I thought.
– That may not exactly be a good thing you know.
— Why? Because you might fail?
– I wouldn’t call it a failure.
— Exactly. If we go, if this all ends, then that’s where we’re going.
Inhale
– Yeah.
— Just accept it.
– Yeah.
— I mean, I know you – I know you accept it.
– Yeah, it’s…
Pause
– He has things to say. I don’t always know what they mean or why they… where they come from, but I feel that I, and you for that matter, and all of us, need to keep the machine going. Not just the physicals you know, but all the meaningless externals… I want to feed him, give him what he needs so that he can say everything he wants to say, that he needs to say. Then after that, we can let go.
— Hmm.
– I don’t know. Sounds too noble.
— Still, if there’s anything that has meaning any-more around here, it has to be that.
– Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing.
Pause
Silence
– I don’t even need anyone to see it, to go there, I just want him to build it. Then maybe we can give him his rest. Send him to the world where he belongs, and maybe we’ll all get swept away with him. God knows he doesn’t belong here, and neither do we.
Silence
— And the real reason why we’re talking right now.
– What’s that?
— Feel like we’re running out of time?
Turn and stare
– Yeah.
Nods
— Every time this happens, all the quantifiables and measurables become unquantifiable and unmeasurable. Costing a little bit more each time, counting one less time we’ll be able to pull through, if we pull through. It’s back to borrowed time.
– Yeah.
Drink off the last of it
Swallow
Sweetness
Bitterness
– Indeed.