On makeup

A lot of guys will tell you that either they don’t mind either way about women wearing make-up, or that they prefer women to look natural. I can empathise with this to a certain extent, but I think many women also don’t mind looking natural, and that in context the men are slightly missing the point of what make-up is or should be all about.

I observed today a young woman who looked like a pre-rendered character from an early 21st century computer animated film. She had so totally covered her face in product that yes, she has successfully masked her so-called blemishes, but in the process had removed all humanity from her countenance. She didn’t look human – it was like she was diving into the Uncanny Valley, a strange observation given that she was in-fact a human being.

I believe that make-up is a great idea, it’s exactly like jewellery and clothing; it is intended to accentuate and complement your natural beauty, not totally hide or change it. For me, make-up should be about subtlety, but I know there are also times when more clearly evident make-up can be used and can look great, for example eye-liner and shadow. The more obvious it’s going to be though, the harder it is to make it look good and not like you stepped out of some poor game-developer’s twisted idea of what a woman should look like (nix the huge gravity defying boobs and illogically reflective bra – remember boys, the less you wear, the better armoured you are!).
I wouldn’t say that all of the women I’ve ever seen with a lot of make-up on look like Colour-me-in Barbie, but I will say that many of them look this way. Please girls, just be careful and have a thought about what you’re doing. I know the whole line about ‘I do it for myself’, I know what that’s about, no-one needs you to justify that any-more, I’m right with you. Of-course, how you dress, make yourself up and (god-forbid) behave is all about your own expression of yourself, but it simply isn’t flattering any-more if your face doesn’t look like it’s made of skin.

You shouldn’t be any happier wearing make-up than you are without it, it isn’t about changing your appearance. It should be about choosing what’s appropriate for the occasion, exactly like having a ring for everyday wear, and one with a stone in it for formal occasions, or running shoes and shoes for going out and having lunch on Saturday. To me, wearing a clearly stupendous amount of make-up is like getting into a space-suit… for anything! Imaging getting into a space-suit to go to work, to go down to the shops, the beach, the bank – it’s absurd. If you were walking down the street and saw a space-suit sauntering through the crowd, you might try your best not to stop and stare, but it’ll be clearly evident that everyone finds it a bit strange, this is precisely how you look when there is three inches of plaster on your head.

I’m not against spending three hours on hair and make-up, if it’s for a wedding or a formal event, I think it’s appropriate. But if you’re doing it every single day just to go to work, given that you have to get up three hours earlier just to put your face on, the extra sleep will do your skin a whole lot more good than the product you put on it.
Make-up will either accentuate your existing features or make you uglier; in and of itself, it will not make you magically beautiful just by its presence. Do your research, know your skin tone and conditions, and make wise, informed decisions about what you buy and when you use it based on knowledge and personal experience. If you’re at the point where you actually are literally ‘putting your face on’, then you need to spend three hours in-front of the mirror getting re-acquainted with your own natural beauty. Don’t hide it – be proud of it, and when you’re ready, begin accentuating it with just the right touches.

I won’t even discuss the whole ageing thing with lines etc. If you still have to have that one explained to you, there’s almost no hope.