You look older

– Nav.
— Well hello.
– You look different, I can’t quite place what it is.
— I’m sunburnt.
– Not that.
Sigh
— I’ve had the thoughts of a man I never thought I’d have.
– Oh?
— Nothing malicious or evil, just…
– I think I know what you’re saying.
— Mm. Thoughts, posturing perhaps, pursuing thoughts that cross a moral boundary that I never thought I’d cross.
– You didn’t cross it though.
— Of-course, nor do I intend to, nevertheless, I thought about it in a realistic and tangible way.
– How does it make you feel?
Pause
— Uncomfortable… may not be the appropriate word. I feel like… a cat anticipating danger, ready to leap away from danger.
– Tense? On-edge?
— Yes, in a way. Less like being spooked like the cat in my analogy, more just… paranoid?
– Did you take your meds?
— Yeah, so it’s not the illness talking.
Pause
– Nav.
— Yes?
– I know what it is.
– What?
— You look older.