The Malteser diaries

I got to work this morning thinking, ‘I shouldn’t eat all of my remaining Maltesers’. Generally in the morning I eat fruit, which I still have, and will still eat.
I thought to myself, ‘How long can I hold-out on eating these Maltesers? I shouldn’t eat them all at once, one never knows when one will be able to get more Maltesers…’

Stupid idea.

You never know when you’ll die, or when someone feigning friendship will come to your desk and steal them.

I’m eating my Maltesers.

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Eh, they’re pretty addictive. You’ll never know when you’re going to die unless you kill yourself. Or… you can still be dead while breathing, if you know what I mean. Probably not. Dead to emotions and feelings, just not physically. Mentally. Yes.