Sensuality gets personal

One night when the weather is warm and there’s a cool breeze, find a quiet room, turn off the lights, open the window and lie on your back. Fill your ears with a slow, sensual song, lift your hand to your collarbone and lightly brush the skin of your body with your fingertips…

Ooo – what an enticing entry title, so different from my usual Swing/Anime/Literature themes… what could it possibly be about?
Kaieri often comments that I rarely write entries of a personal nature, so I thought I’d share some of the thoughts I’ve been having lately, albeit in a slightly different fashion than perhaps might be expected. Come-on now! I wouldn’t be nav if I weren’t doing things a little differently, like my alternative to the everpresent online-survey which I flatly refuse to do – ever.
I must also note that when I write, I generally tend to write great amounts of text, so those with short attention-spans need not apply. That however is no indication that I have expectations for the entry to be engaging for all readers; by all means, if it bores you to tears, scoot off to other amusements and no offence will be taken.

The core of this entry lies in two compilations I made under the title Sensual – the playlists are as follows given as title first, then the album from which the track is from, then the artist:

Tracks in italics are the centre-pieces of the albums – I’ll explain in a moment.
Some notes on the compilations: if you have any knowledge at all of some of these songs, yes, this year’s production is much more mature than the one I did in 2004. It was my first exploration of sensuality through music and it doesn’t flow anywhere near as smoothly as the 2006 edition, with some tracks that I probably wouldn’t consider keeping with the perspectives I have now, but nevertheless, it was a great compilation, and I still listen to it today.

I built Sensual – volume 1 around Drophere by dZihan & Kamien, and to this day it remains one of the most intimate pieces of music in my listening experiences, in-fact intimate is the perfect word to describe the song. Even after Madita released her own album which was produced by the D&K boys anyway, Drophere remains her best song to date. From that track I expanded the entire compilation and found Likeaswimmer to be an amazingly sensual track that spoke volumes of skin against skin in the dark.
When I think about the first compilation and how I thought of it then, I did it in the following movements:

– evening
– intimacy
– making love
– intensity
– affection
– reflection

I could go into detail as to which songs begin, end and bridge each bracket, but that would really add a whole lot more text, so I might hold that one off unless people ask me with notes at the end of the entry; suffice to say that Drophere fits squarely in making love. At this point though I want to assert that the Sensual compilations aren’t all about sex, indeed as the word itself implies. It isn’t just about sex itself, but many of the aspects of it. As much as many of the tracks I included in both CDs very much express sex itself, they are as much about intimacy, playfulness, appreciation and reflection, and intense physical exploration. Many of these pieces of music to me really are about that fascination lovers have with the each-other’s bodies, and the slow, deliberate caressing we engage in before, during and totally outside of having sex.

Anyway before I get even more carried away, the second compilation was done in the following movements:

– foreshadowing/premonition (first track)
– introduction
– acquainting/playfulness
– focussed interest
– physical exploration
– making love
– intensity
– intimacy
– affirmation

A few things worth mentioning about the second CD is that there are more tracks and that many of them are short, some only a minute and a half, giving a little more freedom with making the movements dynamic. Though some tracks fit squarely into specific movements, ideally it’s more of a flowing progression of emotions and expressions. When I think about the first CD and Björk’s All neon like, it’s quite a grand, theatrical and very serious expression of falling in love with someone and having a strong physical and emotional desire. This might be because the first CD was created under the premise that the ‘lovers involved’, per se, already knew each-other well. Miles Davis’ Blue in green to me is a piece that reflects on a couple returning home after an evening out and dancing together in their apartment or home, or the apartment or home of one of them.

The second CD takes a much more playful approach, and towards the middle and on-going movements, a much more serious approach also. Sensual 2006 explores the first meeting, the flirting and casual playfulness of early acquaintance, and the dramatic ‘focus’ of interest, hence thename of the movement. These pieces of music could represent a number of months or years, or a single night, both of which are very real and valid expressions in my mind.

The middle three movements, physical exploration, making love, and intensity are all expressions of sex, including sexual play, serious exploration, deep emotional love-making and the dizzying feelings of attraction and physical joining, to name a few. They are built around the three centre-pieces indicated above, and I basically made the entire compilation in context to these three tracks. My god, there’s so much to say about the middle brackets of this CD, but it really will expand the text far too much – if anyone’s read this far, I commend you on your efforts!

From here it doesn’t seem like there’s much left, but the entire second half of the CD is committed to intimacy, of which affirmation is almost a sub-movement. It actually surprised me when I was auditioning songs and pieces of music for the playlist just how many expressions of intimacy I had, and that I wanted to keep as expressions of sensuality. While the three centre-pieces still stand, the intimacy element is absolutely as valid as the rest, and in reality to me represents perhaps the most important element of the context. Sensuality is about love, sex, physical expression and appreciation; its context is greater than just physical play or sex itself. This is perhaps why I ended up concluding the album with an affirmation bracket, as for me, love will always be a wonderful and unifying expression of sensuality, whether it be in context to a long-term relationship, or a wonderful joining between souls in one moment that stands alone in time.

This is perhaps one of the longest entries I’ve ever written, and reviewing it, it’s been one of the most intimate and at the same time most distant things I’ve ever written! I have so much to say about what these songs and pieces mean to me, there is so much to each piece, each movement, the ways each of the tracks relate to one-another, it’s so hard to describe everything in a short yet comprehensive way… there’s just so much meaning in them.

So if you made it all this way, congratulations, you actually know a fair bit about me personally; but I don’t regret demanding this effort to get to know me – it simply won’t happen with a 20 point survey about whether or not I think sex is fun or when the last time I had sex was. Questionable information on subject-matter without context gives little or no insight, and I believe that if you really want to know about something or someone, it takes a signifficant amount of time and effort to achieve. If you truly want more, I’ll write it, but I do expect detailed or consise responses as to why, and perhaps even why I should share myself in this way. I don’t mind doing it – I write these things as much for myself as I do for readers, and I must say I quite like the fact that heavy amounts of text are generally discouraging for online readers; nevertheless the challenge has been set. In all this yearning for contact and understanding, I feel that some of us have been sidetracked from what actually builds intimacy and establishes true, steadfast and wonderful relationships, instead minimising who we are in the hope of finding an expedient and effortless fix of what we hope will be affection.

Bah – I’d better stop before I turn sour on the malignments of relationships and culture, I should end on a positive note as I really have enjoyed writing this entry, and really do enjoy listening to this music as my own expressions of sensuality.

Phoenix Airborne

I rose to the challenge and all I can say without rambling on and on is… wow. I very much agree with your comment on minimizing self in order to find an easy road to what we percieve as love and affection. So many people lose sight of what truly allows them to wholly share themselves by focusing on the trivial things that only brush the surface….

*points up* I know her! *laughs* It’s so weird finding someone on random, and seeing they have notes from someone that’s on your own favorites list. Oh, and by the way, RYN: I’m glad you don’t mind. Also, the well-wishing is definitely appreciated!