Yoru wo Kakeru

Tonight on the drive home I cued up Yoru wo Kakeru by Spitz as I neared home on the freeway. It’s one of my all-time favourite songs and the hallowed insert song for the 15th episode of Honey & Clover (first season). Listening to it today, as it often does, made me reflect on all the times I’ve torn myself apart over people I’ve loved, recently, in times long gone, as a young-adult and as an early youth. Also of-course I thought about Rika and Mayama, and how beautiful their story together is. I identify with them both in so many ways, and though I pretty much identify with the entire cast of Honey & Clover, these two are closest to my heart.

One of the things to come from my meditations was the very firm conclusion that if there is anything worth tearing yourself apart over, it’s a crush or lover. I’m not promoting suicide, stalking or any such behaviour, but I mean keeping yourself up all night agonising over things, feeling frustrated, inspired, impassioned, lonely and longing – the things we feel when we yearn to be with someone are powerful emotions, and when I think of all the times I’ve done it, I don’t regret a single one, even those I felt for people who ended up hurting me. The feelings were reflections of my intensity, my inspiration and were beautiful creations that I set in motion, every one. I believe you never lose that enthusiasm, that fire, if you truly understand it, know how to see it the right way. It’s never wasted, no matter what happens, and it can show us so many insights about ourselves for years to come if we’re aware enough of them not to totally discard the memories as we grow and learn.

I’ve got it playing again at home now as I write, and all of those feelings are swirling in me again – it’s distracting me from writing so I’ll stop.
Live and love – don’t ever stop. Whether anything comes of the love you have right now is irrelevant – just love, and keep loving with everything you are, all the inspirations and hopes and dreams that you have.

It’s the one thing you don’t want to leave this life without having done…