I think I hate you now.

Ummm….Joseph is a selfish sorry bastard.  I called him today to try and spend time with him tonight.  One of my biggest mistakes.  He said I have to warn you, I have several hickies on my chest from my girlfriend.  Oh.  Okay.

Stupid Mandy.  When we agreed to look into seeing other people, you knew fucking well that mean t he was jumping straight into bed with some bitch.  You stupid fool.

He the said he had something else to tell me.  He needed to tell me that he slept with another woman about a year into us being married.  Really great of you to tell me six years later.

I’m so hurt.  I can’t even explain.  I don’t know why it hurts.  I should have known.  He’s a sorry bastard.  I should have known I was never the only one.

Could someone tell me what I ever did to deserve this.  I know I wasn’t a good wife.  I chosse to be a mom first, but I didn’t know I deserved this.  I’m sorry that I was such an awful person.  I don’t think I ever hurt you like this.  I couldn’t have hurt you like this.  I’ve never even looked at anothe man, but you, you went ahead and slept with another woman.

Dear God it hurts.  It shouldn’t hurt.  We’ve been seperated for two years.  Oh how I wish I had of divorced you back then.  I could be done.  I could be moved on.

Damn me and my stupid heart.

Y’all take care,

Mandy

Ovarian cancer: It whispers, so listen.