Cancer Center

Had to take Granny for a heart scan this morning.  Its pretty suck ass.  The drew out some of her blood, mixed it with the radioactive dye,and then shot it back into her.  All that to find out her heart is fine according to the tech.  That really nasty medicine she takes,Gleevec, to shrink the tumors on her intestines and stomach, is now causing heart trouble in some of the patients taking it.  She’ll have to go get one of these scans once a year to make sure nothing is going wrong.

I really hate going to that place.  I like to see the women all in pink showing how proud they are that they are surviors, but why does it have to be that way?  Why can’t they just be cured?  There is a store in the cancer center that sells wigs and other things.  I saw a lady getting fitted for her bra with the well hell, I guess its a prosthesis then.  She made me tear up. 

There was another lady in the stall.  She came down from taking her chemo and puked all over the stall and floor.  It was that awful green, I’ve got nothing left to throw up except bile puke.  She couldn’t have weighed ninety pounds.  I wanted to scoop her up and take care of her.  I went out and brought her husband in the bathroom.  Who wants a complete stranger to see you covered in vomit.  Oh how I want to go back and hug her now.

I hate that place.  I feel guilty for being healthy.  I feel guilty for having hair.  I feel guilty for feeling guilty.  No one wants pity.  They want to get well and not have to go to the cancer center anymore.

Blah.

Y’all take care and hug those babies tight.

Mandy

Ovarian cancer: It whispers, so listen.