November deadline

Dear Diary;

By November 1st, I plan to have a new job and a new apartment with my friend Liz. I’m putting it out there.

We talked for a while today via text message and she asked me again about getting a place in Ottawa come November. I told her I was in as long as I can find a job. I promptly went and applied for 5 jobs in Ottawa right after our conversation. Cross your fingers that someone responds to my emails.

My parents are oblivious. They still want me to give my resume to my aunt Kelly to put in at the hospital. The pay is AMAZING and I won’t deny that- but if I got the job I’d be stuck here forever- I can feel it. There’s no guarantee that I’d get the job, either. Kelly applied for 3 years before getting in there.

I’m using my tarot cards a lot lately- trying to figure out what I’m meant to do with my life. My subconscious hasn’t decided yet I guess. The cards keep telling me I have potential though. That’s got to be a good thing.

I don’t think I’ve written this yet (I haven’t written much of anything), but I mentioned to Erin about my possible moving to Ottawa with Liz and she flipped at me. She basically looked at me like I had two heads and said "well, when were you going to tell ME about this?" I wanted to slap her across the face. After all the years of her indecision of what she wanted to do and then up and leaving for Calgary and not telling me until the last minute- she has no right to be mad at me for wanting to move a mere hour away. Fuck.

I FINALLY have an appointment to get my EYES checked!!! Everyone scream and shout! yay! Just to give you an idea of how bad my eyes are now- my parents both have bad eyes and wear glasses and they have this computer set up so that everything is a bigger font size. I am STILL squinting to see what I’m typing right now. I can’t see shit. I’m very excited to be able to get glasses and see soon. Next Tuesday is my examination and it can’t come fast enough. I’ve been waiting weeks for this.

I have to get out of this house. My parents house makes me fat- I’m convinced.