I am not anorectic!

It’s raining again… And I’m starting thinking about lot of things. I’m thinking about me… My backbone, heart, weight, compulsive gluttony, daddy… I never write about this stuffs there and on my another internet diaries. Many people from my class don’t know all things about me. But I won’t tell everybody that I have problem with compulsive gluttony. It’s big problem, because when I’m nervous I eat too much and want to vomit or I don’t eat anything and bring up everything what I eat. Both are bad, I know and I really want to change it. And I try! And don’t give up! But what’s the hardest I just lose weight. BTW I didn’t vomit from six months! And I’m so proud of it.

Today morning after shower I looked at mirror and came to conclusion that I lost weight again. I love my body but I really want to put on 2 or 3 kg. I’m scared about come back to P-E classes. Girls will said again "You are so thin!" or "You should put on weight" But I don’t want to care about them too much. They don’t understand.

But I always have Maciek, he love like me for who I am, and he never said me that I have to put on weight. He think I look good. But he didn’t see me in bikini… xD

I have to go to kitchen, and make something to eat… ^_^

Good night everybody

XX