carsales secrets

 this has been a good month, car selling wise.  today i sold my fifth car.  that’s a record for me.  its only the 11th and i’ve sold five cars.  i have two weeks left, i could end up with 10 cars or maybe more.  today’s sale was a good one, i held gross, i think.  the only discount my customer got was rebates, more often than not, to get the car sold, we’ll resort deeper discount, but today they went for rebates.  oh, and they purchased extended warranty and gap insurance.  i think its going to be a good commission.  

i have had to become a different person because of car sales.  its weird.  on the car lot, i’m more aggressive.  i listen, but i also "lead."  i have to, in many cases, encourage people to get into debt.  that’s tough.  i hate debt with my heart.  hate it.  i’m in debt, and i hate leading others into debt, but then i realize this simple truth: they can say no.  i’m a pusher man, i know this, but i have to eat, i have pay rent, i have my own car payment to make.  i am, in short, a prostitute, or maybe a pimp.  hey baby you wanna by my car?  mmmm, its sexy.  you look good in it.  oh, y ou like that color?  damn, its a v-8 hemi, gawd that’ll make the chicks hot for you…..

you wanna buy that suburban that eats gas likes a fat man eats pancakes?  okay, lookit how much room there is?  wow, you can get all your kids, grandkids and three generations in this one!  how much you are wanna pay in payments?  fo hunnit?  done, lets get you into finance.  make sure you ask them about extended warranties, you never know when your car’ll break down and you’ll be so glad you got the warranty.  yeah, you trust me, i’m not gonna lead you wrong.  i have your best interest in mind, really i do.  

i’ve learned something.  if you’re  a buyer, you’re a liar.  you have perfect credit?  the hell you do!  what’s this 592?  oh you didn’t pay your house payment, your last car loan, and your student loans, as well as your credit card bills for the last 22 months?  and you still want less than 300 dollar payments?  welcome to planet yer crazier than bedbugs, bitch.

you wanna a 5000 dollar car for your kid?  do you hate them?  you do?  ok, that’ll be a car that has over 150,000 miles.  oh so you feel bad now?  now you want a car that is 10k, okay, i can do that.  how does a car that is 100k miles, sound?  yeah, that’s troof, baby.  you want payments at no more than 300 dollahs a month.  every 10 grand you finance = two hunnit to two fi’ty a month in payment.  no money down?  sure, we’ll get you the best rate we can, how does 21 per cent sound.  

hey its not me, its the banks.  always blame the banks, no, really, the banks are the batards. i’m your friend, i ilke you, i’m not here to screw you.  i gotta eat, i gotta pay rent, etc, etc.  oh, you do, too?  well good for you!  why are you trying to buy a 35k car?

i have no sympathy.  

let me ask  you this: would you buy a pair of shoes before trying them on?  really?  so you want me to run numbers on a car before you sit in it and take it for a test drive?  really?  

yeah, the test drive is a key  to my success, but seriously, if you don’t like the car, the way it feels, the way it drives, etc etc, youll hate it when after you buy it. take it for a spin, its free…. i’m your pusherman.

 

you don’t like it, fine, lets find another one.

found a car you like

if we can make the number right, is this the car you’d like to drive home today?

how much can you put down?  five hunnit?  banks usually dig at LEAST 20 percent down?  oh, you have a grand, that’s cool.  

you want my card, that’s cool i have em inside, come on, follow me, i’ll get you one.

hey, why don’t you have a seat, and i’ll get my card for you.  what’s your number so i can keep in contact with you?  i’m not gonna bug you.  just keep in contact and see what’s goin on

have a seat.  is this the correct address (looking at the drivers lisc– i got that when we took the test drive)  it is?  cool.

types in driver’s lisc #, exp date, etc

what’s your social security #

how much do you make a month before taxes

do you own your home?  rent? whats your morgage/rent a month?

this isn’t a me thing, its a bank thing, i need a name address and phone number of someone that doesn’t live in your househould as a reference

this is our privacy statement. it says that we don’t share your info with any but the following….

sigh here. 

here’s what’s going to happen next, i’m gonna go up to the desk and give this info, this is the car you picked out.  you like it?  you love it?  you want some more of it?  

before i go up i need to make sure i know what you want me to do, so i’m gonna ask you a few questions: do you have any money down?  a grand, cool, if we need more to get to your payment do you have it?  maybe?  okay.  you wanted your payments around 350, is there any wiggle room at all?  350, up to…. 400… not to exceed… 425?  

hey bossman, i got so and so, and they’re on such and such, they want to be at a payment of no more than 425 a month.

great news folks, i can get you into that car, the one you loved for 425 a month.  425 too much?  what did you want your paymets to be?  350?  well, i think you’re on too much car?  you need the leather, sunroof, and touch screen radio with nav?  and the top of the line wheels? my manager is going to laugh at me when i go back with that offer. you’re on too much car, i need to peel you off of it. we have this other model over here, that might suite.  oh, you do want that leather seats that are heated and cooled? ok,  that’s cool.  let me see what i can do?

okay with another two grand down, think i can get you in your range.  if that’s acceptable sign here and i’ll get you car ready for clean up and go the finance guys and get you ready to rock and roll

oh, wait, you wanted more for your trade?  what were you thinking?  where did you get the number?  ah, online, kelly blue book.  well, let me tel you about that.  we use acv, what that means is actual cash value.  that’s what we can get for this vehicle at auction today.  kelly blue book is a "good" guide, but its only updated every 90 days, the acv is updated everyweek.  let me go see if i can get my manager to give some more for you trade.  

you’re in luck, my manager gave you anoter 500 bucks for your trade. 

to be continued…..?