voices at the door

*banging on the door*

*door rattles on the hinges*

*bang*

*boom!, shoulder to the door*

voice: hey! let us in!

*door rattles under duress*

voice: we know yer in there….!

loof: f**k they’re coming…. *runs to the door, leans against it, hoping they’ll go away*

voices: muffled murmuring….

loof: go away cookie man….

voice: on the count of three…. 1…. 2… 3!

*door flies open in a shower of wood and splinters…*

voice: hello, loof, miss us?

voice: hey tendah, drinks, now!