Update

Where to start?  It’s been awhile since I really updated what’s going on in my life.  And there’s a lot that’s gone on since I really updated regularly. I suppose I’ll go back to June.  On June 4th, I was officially done at work.  That was my last day and woo hooo.  There’s a part of me now that wishes I’d stayed on a few more weeks for money, but I also realize I was getting burnt out.  It likely wouldn’t have been pretty if I’d stayed an extra four+ weeks until July 2nd.  In any case, it was good to have that time off the phone. Then for my 25th birthday on July 3rd, my parents and one brother (Stephen – nearly 23 years old) went to a Cub game in Chicago.  That was a blast.  They actually won and it was a beautiful day.  I was definitely not packed yet, nor had I done much to go through my room.  I was moving in just a few weeks and I wasn’t ready.  I was definitely enjoying the time off though.  On July 23rd, I picked up the keys to my apartment.  Then the following Monday I got my cable and internet set up.  During all of this, I was getting very nervous and well…terrified would be a good word.  There was (and still is) so much change going on.  Me moving out, starting law school, moving away from my family, plus my brother moving out to Seattle.  I’d lived in one place for 10 years (minus the 9 months I spent up in Marquette, MI as a college freshman).  That’s the longest I’ve ever lived in one place in my entire life.  So I was also moving away from the ward and all the wonderful people in the ward.  I wasn’t looking forward to leaving all of them behind.  In any case, my second to last Sunday in the ward (July 18th) I did a solo.  I love doing that, I loved practicing with Sister Greer, I loved all of it.  But at the same time, it was hard knowing I was leaving everyone.  For all intents and purposes, I grew up in that ward.  The following Saturday President Nelson and his wife came over for dinner (they’re family friends).  They moved into the ward just before we did.  He was actually my Sunday School teacher for a few weeks before he was called to be in the Bishopric.  And then two or three years after that, they and my parents were on a bowling team together and bowled every Friday night.  My mom’s never liked having home teachers, so when he became the Bishop, the deal was he’d be our Home Teacher and he has been ever since.  Especially since he was called into the Stake Presidency (it’s been about….two years now), we don’t always see him, but we definitely know if we ever needed anything, we could call him.  The night of my last Sunday (the 25) my mom and I went over to their house.  I wanted to say good-bye and I also wanted a Priesthood blessing before I left.  I really needed that blessing.  It was the first Priesthood blessing outside of sickness or a calling or my Patriarchal blessing.  In any case, it was exactly what I needed.  They also gave me a gift of some kitchen stuff – definitely needed and I miss them already.

To make things more hectic, Stephen’s movers didn’t come until Friday the 30th to pack him.  The reason that made things worse was because the plan had been to pack my truck on Friday morning.  We got through it though.  Then on the 31st, we got up early and drove down to my new apartment (it’s right about 2 hours, door to door).  It was me, our Budget rental truck, and my mom’s van.  All three were packed.  My aunt and one of her daughters also showed up to help me move.  It was greatly appreciated.  We were down at my apartment by 9am, my aunt showed up about 9:30. By 3:45, everything was unpacked, the furniture was all together and it was time for everyone to leave. 

The only way I can describe church on Sunday is hard.  It was so much harder than I expected.  I spent Sacrament meeting in tears.  However, the Relief Society President is awesome.  Initially she saw me sitting on my own, didn’t know me and came over to introduce herself.  She then invited me to sit with her and her husband.  She really took me under her wing.  The ward here is tiny.  Apparently my ward and the other ward that meets in the building were one ward, but a year or two ago, they were split.  So the ward is pretty tiny.  There is an institute class that meets in the Student Center and I think I’ll attend that.  From what I understand, the institute teacher is really good.  I’d hoped that maybe I’d find a young man in the ward, but *shrugs*.

I spent much of last week alternating between fear and calm.  Needless to say, there has been a lot of prayer on my part.  But as much as I’m still nervous (especially since Orientation starts tomorrow), I know without a doubt that this is where I’m supposed to be.  Plus, there’s a portion of my Patriarchal Blessing that’s given me so much comfort this week.  It speaks of accomplishing my goals, setting them high, and knowing that I can achieve them.  That my Father in Heaven will be on my right hand and on my left.  It’s interesting, because for so long that portion of my blessing seemed vague.  But I see now that it’s meant for times like these.  This is really the first time that a portion of my blessing really applies to my life as I’ve gone along.  It’s been nearly two years since I got it and there were a few sections that definitely applied to how I was feeling at the time but this is the first time where it’s applied to something that at the time, was in the future.  In this case, it was something that wasn’t even on my mind at the time.  Just one more thing that reminds me that the Lord knows who I am even better than I do.  Knowing that this is where I’m supposed to be has helped with the nerves of starting here, moving out, being 25 and not married yet with no prospects in sight.  I know that if the Lord wants me here, He’ll provide for me.  It’s like it’s said in Nephi – the Lord gives us no commandments without giving us a way to achieve them.  And given that we’re supposed to have families and that the Lord wants me here, I know He’ll provide for me there as well.  It’ll be up to me to take the opportunity, to recognize it, and to run with it – but I know He’ll provide the opportunity. 

Last Thursday morning, I drove up to see my parents and brothers.  Jason came home from college last Monday for a few weeks, and Stephen was leaving for Seattle on Friday morning.  My parents wanted one last night with all of us at home, so I obliged and drove up.  It was good.  That evening, we all went out to dinner, then came home and played Monopoly where my mom won for the first time in many years.  Then the following morning, my dad and other brother (because of car switching) took Stephen to the airport to send him off to Seattle (my mom was taking a flight after work to help him get settled in).  It’s strange to think that he likely won’t be home for Christmas and that it’ll likely be a year or more before I see him again.&nb

sp; There was a time when I didn’t think I’d ever miss him, but I’m definitely going to miss him.  I think realizing that is what is really making me realize all three of us kids are growing up.  We’re all so close in age (I’m 25, Stephen turns 23 on Tuesday, and Jason is 21) that I don’t have any memories where I’m the only child.  Granted over the last several years, we’ve all been going to college so there have been several month increments where we were apart, but I always knew when I’d see my brothers again.

Tomorrow starts law school orientation.  Hard to believe that it’s here already.  Hard to believe I’ve been in my apartment for a week.  It’s not quite home yet, but it will be.  And truthfully, even though it’s not quite "home" yet, I love it.  I’ve been watching the weather for the area over the last few weeks just to get an idea, and they seem to be about 5 degrees warmer than where I was living before in southern Wisconsin.  We’ve got a warm week on tap, with highs in the 90’s starting tomorrow through Thursday.  Thankfully, it looks like a cold front is going to go through on Thursday night/Friday and take out temps down.  That’s good, given that it appears my a/c sucks electricity like nobody’s business.  Thankfully it’s a garden apartment, partially underground.  So we’ll see just how long I can keep the a/c off this week.  I’ll be glad when mid-September comes around and the a/c won’t be needed at all.  And my heat is gas, which is included in my rent so I don’t have to worry there.

There’s just so much going through my head.  But above everything else, I’m taking comfort in knowing this is where I’m supposed to be.  If this is where the Lord wants me, then this is where I’ll be.  I trust that the Lord will help me find the man I’ll marry, even if I’m here in this small ward with few students. 

"Life is measured not by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."