This Feeling Feels very familiar…

While the situations are different and thus the feeling is being caused by different things, I’m feeling a lot like I did my last semester of college – very overwhelmed.  In terms of my emotional state, that semester was bad.  And on a lot of levels, I’m feeling much the same.  Deciding to ride out the wave at work doesn’t make it an easier ride.  There’s the stuff with Maxie too.  And then there’s my grandparents, particularly my grandfather.  His memory is so bad these days.  My grandmother’s doing chemo again given that her heart’s strong enough.  And then surgery’s coming up too.   More than anything, I could really use an actual vacation from my life right now, but that entails taking time off work.  With surgery coming and the uncertainty that comes with any surgery, I can’t afford to take any time off til then.  I’ve got five full days saved if I need them (I’m currently taking three days).  But I need those extra two days as a buffer just in case.  And it’s surgery, so it’s not going to be a vacation.  Granted, it’ll feel a little like one probably by Friday, but Wednesday certainly won’t and chances are Thursday won’t either.  And of course during all this, my visiting teachers have been changed.  I LOVED my visiting teachers and will miss them dearly.  I just…the thing about my old visiting teachers was that they made me laugh – one of the things I desperately need more of in my life. I just…it’s one more change in a series of them.  Quite frankly, I want my life to settle back down into something resembling normality.  I’m headed over to Sister G’s tomorrow to practice the song for Christmas and I always feel better after spending some time with her, especially when we’re doing a song together.  My badgers also play tomorrow, so that’s another distraction.  The other good thing is that I don’t have to do a lesson this weekend for primary with it being General Conference.  I think I’m going to watch both sessions on Sunday and probably the afternoon session tomorrow.  I’ll finish making a hat while I watch (I have to do something with my hands when I watch tv anymore – I can’t just watch tv, regardless of what’s on.

"Life is measured not by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."