I don’t think this is the right med either

I’m on ritalin now (it’s med #7 since I was diagnosed in October) and at the very least we don’t have the right dosage.  I can tell the difference in the morning though early afternoon, but then I’m back to being my normal unfocused self.  We switched to ritalin because the Concerta was staying in my system way too long.  I was taking it at 7AM and not getting to sleep until after midnight and even that wasnt restful sleep (not good, considering I’m up between 6 and 6:30).  Granted, Concerta is only supposed to last 10 hours, but ADD meds are well known to affect everyone differently. The type of ritalin I’m on doesn’t last as long and while I’m sleeping at night, I’m also not getting any studying done in the evening, nor are my two afternoon classes going well.  I’m getting so frustrated with meds.  I know I need something as I can tell there’s a HUGE difference between when I’m on meds and off meds.  Kinda makes me nervous for the day in the future I get pregnant as my (future) husband and I start a family.  The problem with ADD meds is that NONE of them are safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding.  In other words, I’d be off meds for well over a year.  I’ll need a lot of help from my future husband (whoever he may be) and from Heavenly Father.  When I’m off meds, my focus is nonexistent, I’m not very productive, I procrastinate more, and my reading comprehension drops off the face of the earth.  That future husband will need to have a lot of patience with me.  It’s really not my fault that more often than not, someone tells me something and it’s gone from my head two seconds later.  My brain just isn’t wired like everyone else’s.  That’s really why I go to counseling…I don’t think about things like everyone else does and I don’t process the things around me like everyone else.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m really smart. I just don’t think about things like others think I should.  In counseling, I don’t have to be rational – I don’t even have to be logical.  It helps to talk to someone who at the very least understands the problems with ADD.  I’ve often thought since being diagnosed that people who don’t have ADD/ADHD or don’t work closely with those who do can’t talk about it.  It’s such a different way of thinking and processing things that it’s hard to really explain it to someone who doesn’t have it.  I’ve tried before, and most times people look at me like I’m weird, because they simply can’t imagine dealing with it.  I give the same explanation to someone who has it or has worked closely with those who do completely understand.  My future husband will need to be patient with me and will have to WANT to understand, even if he can’t always understand why I do the things I do or think the things I think.