Funny Use of English writings

The following is supposed to be confidential, but my conscience has been bored to sleep from my marking of the 300 Use of English compositions.  Forgive me, I admit I’m immoral.

Script no. 1
Topic: Safety precautions in planning hiking

"You should bring some tools like cutters, unbrellas, torch.  They can be used to get rid of animals and cut the robbers if possible.  You may bring some bananas to expel monkeys!  I have heard it before.  If you are attacked by animals, you should take some actions rely on the character of the animals.  If the animal is monkey, you can just throw some bananas to it (or other food like sausages, any fruits)."

I honestly never thought bananas could really be used in self-defense.

 

 

Script no. 2
Topic: Safety precautions in planning hiking

"The school have hiking club.  I believe many student to know have hiking club.  Many students to take part in hiking club take place some activities.  Hiking is the best sport.  I think comfortable anyone students to join.  Because these activities can helpful our body become strongly.  The students have fitness body and reduce ill opportunity.  Hiking club wants reduce students worry about and increase students hiking interesting and confident.  Therefore, told to students only if doing some safe measures.  Hiking is very saft activity."

How did the candidate ever pass his/her Cert-level English exam?!

Script no. 3
Topic: Korean influence in Hong Kong

"We can hear Koran song in the shopping mall because people like that.  Mass media always mention about Koran movie stars.  Lastly, I would like to say that people around me all love Koran culture even me too.  Hong Kong people like Koran style very much.  Koran become our fashion."

The candidate forgot to write "Praise Allah!" at the end.

This is exactly what keeps me sane when I’m marking compositions.  Keep them coming! 

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April 25, 2006

hahaha! i shut my mouth tight and tried not to giggle in the office! for script 1, i think the AL has caused permanent damaage to his/her brain already script 2…well, at least he/she still has some logic in the writing, but he/she can say goodbye to tertiary institutions :p script 3…he/she should practise his/her writing more by using MS Word, coz the program will have spell check! :p sheep

oops..i mean, script 3…the candidate should use MS Word coz it has spell check for him/her :p sheep

April 25, 2006

They make you insane yet keep you sane! Haha…

April 25, 2006

About #2 candidate all give applaud, make me to laughingly. i laughing very big noise, but i worry this student for later reduce opportunity no only no passing test. Waahahahahahahha~~~~

April 25, 2006

🙂 I like the monkey and bananas~~~ hahaha~~

April 25, 2006

It is funny, thx for sharing.

April 25, 2006

Hahahaha I wonder which grade (Form) they are in ? :oD

April 25, 2006

To script no. 1.. Great minds think alike..

April 25, 2006

These scripts are so interesting, but sometimes make people feel sick

April 25, 2006

hohohohahaha!! I can’t stop laughing at these, esp. at no 3. be thankful that ur stds can at least, still write. I don’t even understand what mine are writing at all!

April 25, 2006

MWAHAHAHAHAHAH~~~~~~~~MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ keep them coming indeed^^~~ so that your OD can in turn keep us sane when we are racing toward our dealines~^^

April 25, 2006

i love script 2, haaa. seems none of the sentence is correct. =P

April 25, 2006

½Ð°Ý§A¥­§¡¬~´X¦h®É¶¡§ï¤@¥÷¨÷¡H­Ú§Ú¹ê¨C¥÷¯º§¹¤S¯º… #1… ©Od«}¥screativeÅo #2… ©O½g¦n³q¶¶¡A¦pªG¥Î¬Yd translator #3… «Y«}¦³Áú¬P©O­Ó¦W¡H

April 25, 2006

bring some bananas to expel monkeys! haha*

hahahahhahahahhah….Help!

April 25, 2006

haha

April 25, 2006

the banana one is really creative. the second one actually is very logical if you translate EACH word into cantonese. the Koran one is just entertaining. 😀

April 25, 2006

omg…………………can’t help laughing! XD script 1: monkey and bananas….very creative and thoughtful indeed……….haha script 2: yes – guess this kid really need to put some effort in English if s/he wants to get into uni. script 3: maybe this guy is a very dedicated muslim, or got addicted to ®Ñ¼C®¦¤³¿ý

April 25, 2006

hahahahaha…. I never thought marking papers could be so entertaining!

April 25, 2006

err…what did they say? i would like to invite the candidate who wrote script no.3 to assist me in handling the Muslim cases… XD

§j0¨õ~~~~~~

I’m a current candidate and i cant believe it… can i borrow this passage from you? actually i’ve assumed a “yes” from you, hoho~

April 26, 2006
April 26, 2006

Script one: That’s true. Our discipline master told the students to do this when they are hiking (maybe he is from our school!!!) Second one: Maybe his purpose is to ask us to guess or proofread it.

April 26, 2006

kkbb…welcome back from OD holiday! Let me join the “hahhahahahhahhaa” here…very funny indeed. I found something similar too when grading my students’ papers…I like #1 the best! hahahahahahahahahaaaa

nds
April 26, 2006

You can make favourite-only this post. Morality don’t count anymore then.

April 26, 2006

script 1: funny idea script 2: well, i know they can barely survive in the CE script 3: how come he/she can still spell it wrongly when the word Korean is on the title?

April 27, 2006

I have met such horrible composition that will make you go mad and even lower your level of English :S

April 27, 2006

I think it’s only the tip of iceberg. Add oil! :DDD

April 27, 2006

¨¯­W§A°Õ…§Ú¦a´N·í¯º¸ÜÚ»…§A´N¿E¦º…

April 29, 2006

§@²Ä¤@¬qªº¨º¦ì¤pªB¤Í¦³«e³~§r¡I§Ú­Úº¡¤À¡I

May 2, 2006

haha thank you for the entertainment (well, i know i should not laugh at the students though…)

May 16, 2006

§A§ï¨÷³£´X¦h entertainment o¤X :p

May 31, 2006

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