Is Mozart an aphrodisiac for hamsters?

S.3 Science Project Presentation Day – this is supposed to be one of the most boring and unproductive school days in the school year.  How true, yet how untrue at the same time.
 
Fifty groups of S.3 students presented their experimental findings in front of their peers and teachers today.  They were given a lot of freedom in choosing what they want to do, as long as it is workable at school or at home.  You’d think they would’ve come up with really interesting topics given such free reign, but no, students nowadays can really surprise you – their lack of creativity can be absolutely appalling.  So, what were some of their chosen topics?
 
The Effect of Acidity on Growth Rate of Plants
How Different Colours of Light Affect the Growth of Plants
Clean Water vs. Dirty Water on the Growth of Plants
How Rusting is Affected by Different Concentrations of Salt Solutions
The Effect of pH on Marble
The Effect of Temperature on Oxidation of Metals
 
Of course there’s nothing wrong with the above investigations; you can’t get any experiments that are more "scientifically valid" than those.  But what happened to creativity?  Where did they get the idea of investigating the effect of acid on plants?  I mean, how BORING it is!  Did they just flip open their textbook and modify one of the standard experiments?  I’m sure they did.  And imagine multiplying the above six investigations by six.  That’s the true extent of experiments of this nature today.  I cannot imagine anything less inspiring than sitting through the whole day listening to students presenting, in their mumbling voices, how they watched their plants grow for 21 days or waiting for their coins to slowly rust in mineral water.  God, I could’ve marked piles of exam papers instead!  Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!!!
 
Alright, that could at least be fodder for my diary entry today; I get to complain about the low standards of students again.  And then something happened – something totally out of character for students in my school.  A group of students went up to the podium, opened their PowerPoints, which read:
 
The Effect of Music on the Sexual Activity of Hamsters
 
The whole room erupted in unprecedented excitement.  Teachers sat up straight and other students woke up from their stupor – there was a lot of murmuring about how dare they did such a topic, which teacher approved of it, and so on.  Everyone thought this was going to be the highlight of the day; teachers couldn’t contain their giggles in front of the students, especially when the group said that their experimental design was playing Mozart vs. playing Cantopop to a pair of hamsters and observing whether they had sex more frequently.  I swear I had never experienced such an atmosphere of anticipation in my career.
 
Then came the anticlimax.  The experimental finding of the investigation was – nothing.  Zilch.  They did not observe any sexual activity at all.  The problem was that their experimental design was seriously flawed: playing Mozart for three hours every day and seeing if the hamsters were aroused – mind you, they could only check on the hamsters occasionally; who knows if they might’ve missed the action while they’re away grabbing something to eat?  They actually acknowledged this limitation and suggested an "improvement", which is to videotape the hamsters 24 hours a day so as to capture every moment.  This was even more absurd – how are they going to watch the tape?  Even if you fast-forward while playing it, how long will it take you to go through 24 hours?
 
So, creative as they were, they couldn’t get high marks.  It was hugely appealing alright, but simply undoable for S.3 students.  Hence the conclusion: the idea was original, but the feasibility was poorly thought out.
 
Still, this incident provides food for thought.  What does it mean when the most impressive experiment is the one that fails spectacularly?  What does it mean when science teachers are drawn to the most "unscientific" investigation?  I was inclined to tell those students that they’d done a really great job attracting attention, that all the teachers were genuinely interested in their topic.  But I’m not supposed to say that.  I’m supposed to lecture them on the importance of rigorous experimental design and validity and reliability and all that stuff.
 
Anyway, I’m sure they’ve learned their lesson.  For me, the lesson was quite unexpected: sex sells, even when it does not.