How I Met Your Mother

It doesn’t seem that she and I can get through a day without some bullshit.  this time, it’s her friend who heard our conversation the other night by accident.  L’s non-understanding or non-use of her iphone.  Called her friend and recorded the whole conversation. Of course, friend violated privacy and listened to the whole thing, then commented on it to L.  Way to go friend.,

L is upset that I told friend to mind her own business.  Of course, can’t really tell friend to mind her own business because I have no contact info for her, but still.  Why listen to the whole conversation when you obviously know you weren’t intended to hear it.  Can you say nosy much?

Today is 8 months.  who knows if we’ll make it to 9??

Had a dream about the ex last night.  Chasing her as always.  Always trying to get her attention and approval.  Maybe that was the issue…the friends and flirting she did was others was perceived as taking attention from me.  Now I know that I need a lot of attention – I have no delusions about that.  I just didn’t realize that I neede that much.

Or really, I don’t need it, but want it.  I can control the things I want.  Having a hard time controling this.

Just when I thought we were in a good place, she had to bring up nosy butts comments about our relationship.  Why would she even tell me that?  She knows what her friend did is messed up.  Or does she know that?

She defends the friend.  I feel like she defends everyone but me.  I know that’s not true, but sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming I don’t know what else to think.

So much for a celebration of our time together.  Maybe she should go honor her friend for a while and leave me out of it.

Tomorrow is an interview for a new position at work.  Half of me wants to get it and half of me doesn’t.  I’ve already said that I would leave the company if I do not get this position.  How, though, in this economy will I make the same pay for something else?  Ugh.  I hate worrying about money.  I hate being that person – the one that lets money get in the way.

The journey is the reward

Lao-Tzu