Sunburn and summertime

I got absolutely nothing done yesterday — at least, nothing productive. The one thing I did accomplish was getting a sunburn. I decided on Friday to start lying out. I am the whitest of white, and when I take my graduation pictures, I’d love to have a bit of a tan. So, on Friday, I layed out for about 10 minutes (with a MGT book) before I got bored and hot and went back inside. Yesterday, however, I took my iPod and stayed out for 30 minutes. Today, I am a tomato. Figures. I’ll start with 15 minutes when the sun comes back out — it’s hiding behind clouds and wind today.

I got a nice surprise this morning… I was down 3lbs. I’m totally excited about it. This means I have just over 12lbs to lose to get to my goal weight in May. Woohoo! It’s been a long, hard struggle, especially when I read about how much fun some of my favs keep having at Cheddars… oh how I wish… but it’s been totally worth it. I’ve gone down an entire pant size, I’ve lost over 5 inches off my hips and waist… hell, I’ve lost 27 lbs since January… this shit is amazing! And the really good news is that I’m getting used to it. I haven’t had a fast food cheeseburger since my Valentine’s day reward (for going an entire month without any fast food)… not because I can’t budget in the calories, but because I just don’t have the taste for it. I’d rather make my own really low fat burger. I still add the mayo and mustard and low fat cheese. I have chips instead of fries… but it just tastes better. The meat is fresher and has more flavor — I’m a much better cook than McDonalds, if I do say so myself — and I put on the huge pickle stackers to give it a kick. MMMM. **I made burgers last night.** And it’s not as if I CAN’T go out. I’m supposed to be meeting Faye this afternoon for a late lunch at Chili’s. And I’ll have salsa and chips, a salad, and the grilled chicken. I’m getting used to making better decisions. I’m getting used to working out. Hell, this weekend "off" from working out is KILLING me. I can’t wait to get back to the gym tomorrow and really pump out some frustration on that elliptical. I can’t wait to feel the rush of endorphins after a good hard workout. I miss my gym. *Sniffle*

I never thought I would get here. When my dad used to say that the gym was the best part of his day, I used to think "what a sad life you have"… I know better now. At the gym, there are no cell phones, no emails, and no problems. I am not a wife. I am not a student. I do not have a husband I love in a war zone. I do not have cats that are driving me crazy. I don’t have dishes to do, or homework to finish, or a litter box to clean. Everything fades away. It is just me, the power of my body, on the elliptical, pushing forward with every step; pushing toward a new life, pushing toward being healthy, pushing toward being normal. When I work out with Kyle, it’s a workout and a therapy session all in one. He’s paid to talk and listen and support my workout; but I don’t have to care about him when I leave the gym. He won’t call me with his problems and ask for advice. Instead, it’s a mutual sharing of life… much like OD, but more personal. I tell him my life. He tells me his. For an hour, we talk and sweat and push forward. And then, he goes his way and I go mine. It’s an odd relationship to have, but it’s so refreshing. I can chit-chat with him… I know him enough to trust him with things I wouldn’t tell a stranger… yet our relationship is little more complicated than that of strangers. Plus, he can explain things that I don’t’ understand, like why my calves get tight on the bike… It definitely adds to my total gym experience.

I’m looking forward to seeing Faye today. I haven’t had a chance to wear the new jeans I bought over a week ago. They’re a whole size smaller!!! SOOO excited. I should start getting ready.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Ciao