Mind Dump **edit**

**EDIT: Just found out from the teacher herself, it’s not till 2013 she’s thinking of retiring, which is fine! I’ll keep that in mind, at the least it gives me another two years home with my girl. By fall 2013 she’ll be 4 and a half (can’t even imagine it) and more than ready for school. Wouldn’t it be funny if, after all this, we decide to adopt again and, due to having a newborn, I don’t end up back at work at all! **END EDIT

Feel free to skim or if you read each word, sorry if it doesn’t make sense. I’m just going to do a mind dump to get all this stuff out.

A friend of mine from the school where I used to work informed me that a social studies teacher is retiring at the end of this school year, which means the position would be open September 2012. Lexi would be 3 and a half, which was when I was going to start her in preschool anyway…..so I’m thinking maybe I should keep my ears to the ground on this and start making it known to the principal that I’d like to be interviewed for it. Sure, I’d have to start all over again with tenure, but it’s MUCH easier to start again at a school you know with administrators you know than to start somewhere new.

And if this will happen, and not to sound prideful, I can’t see why they wouldn’t hire me back-they loved me there-then I really don’t want to work part time this year, I want to spend my possible last year at home full time with Lexi.

I even had a dream about it. In the dream, the teacher that is retiring (who was my mentor my first year there!) called me into her classroom to tell me "on the downlow, before it was out" that she was retiring and she wanted me to take her spot.

Part of me gets so excited thinking about this, I mean, sure, they’d most likely take me back, but…not definite. Someone could interview who’s much better than me or who has less experience than me so they could pay them less!

And then, at the same time as being excited, I think "can I leave Lexi?" Is three and a half too young to put in full time preschool? Well, it really wouldn’t be all day. If this comes to pass, Art would most likely drop Lexi off around 9’ish in the morning (I’d have to leave too early to drop her off) and I’d pick her up after work around 3’ish in the afternoon. Or we could do something like Art takes her in the morning, my mom picks her up at lunch, gives her lunch and puts her down for a nap; by the time she woke up, I’d be home.

Aggh! Part of me wants this SOOOOOO bad and part of me is afraid to want it if it doesn’t happen. And then part of me doesn’t want it because giving up my now daily routine of playdates and gymboree and music class and grocery shopping and general SAHM-ness makes me sad (remember, two years ago when giving up teaching made me sad!?).

I guess my first task is to find out if that teacher is really retiring or if that was just a rumor…..and go from there.

But the thought of being back in the classroom 🙂

But the thought of leaving my girl 🙁