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So, as some of you will recall, when I started seeing Calesha several months ago my mother’s response was less than understanding as she literally cried and pleaded with me not to keep seeing her, due to the fact that Calesha happens to be black. I assured my mother that she was grossly overreacting and that things between Calesha and I were not very serious. I’ve maintained telling my mother that Calesha and I are not very serious over the last several months, despite my mother’s increasing worries about how often I’ve been going to see a black girl.

Nonetheless, I’ve noticed that my mother consistently takes on a pouting mood after I visit Calesha and it’s beyond annoying because I really wish she would just tell me what’s bothering her as opposed to pouting about it but then denying that anything is wrong. At any rate, I saw Calesha yesterday so today my mother began her requisite pouting and I confronted her about it and told her that I really wished she would tell me what was bothering her. She proceeded to mention Calesha and how I claim that things aren’t serious and that we’re “just friends” (which, in my defense, I’ve never said), but that I keep seeing her every week and that she basically doesn’t believe me. I told her that what I was telling her was the truth and it bothered me that she didn’t believe me. And then.

And then she told me that I left my “blog” up about a month ago and she read all these things people said about Calesha and me taking off her bra and that it didn’t sound at all like something that wasn’t serious to her. And that pretty much shut me up for a bit.

I can’t really get mad at her for reading the stuff, I actually stupidly left it open on the computer. I can’t believe I did that, it’s just that I haven’t lived at home in five years and I really got accustomed to leaving windows open on my pc when I wasn’t sharing a computer. I actually remember once coming back to the computer and noticing that I’d left OD up though I’m not even sure if that’s when she read it or not. At any rate, I’m an idiot for letting that happen, but seriously, of all the notes she could have read, she had to read the notes on this entry! You guys just had to go on about how I was going to lose my virginity to Calesha, didn’t you?!

Anyway, I don’t know, at first I felt like I was caught in a lie by it all (which, admittedly, I’ve probably downplayed things between Calesha and I for obvious reasons), but it’s not so much that I was lying to my mother, but at the same time, it isn’t going to help matters to tell her “Well, I wasn’t lying to you, things really aren’t serious with Calesha and me. We just fool around with one another sexually!” She’d find that even more horrifying. So I don’t know how to really handle it other than to just pretend it never happened, which is how my mom wants to handle it anyway, her solution to a problem is always to ignore it.

I don’t know that I can keep living here and seeing Calesha though. Which, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be living here much longer as I will almost definitely be moving as soon as I find a job, which actually also means I probably won’t be seeing much of Calesha anymore anyway, depending on how far the move ends up being at least. So all of this could end up being completely moot in another month. But it still ended up being pretty embarrassing tonight

But yeah, like many of my entries, this one comes with a moral lesson for you readers. Remember to always logout of Open Diary.

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