Boring
I went on another “date” with Calesha last night and, well, it was pretty boring. I put “date” in quotation marks because it’s not like we actually do anything, which, honestly, I’m perfectly fine with that in general, but we literally don’t do anything, even at her house. We don’t play games, we don’t watch films – she never wants to do anything I suggest. Eventually I just start fooling around with her out of boredom.
Which, to be honest, the fooling around isn’t so great either. I know that she wants it (mostly due to how often she tells me she enjoys it when we talk online . . .), but mostly she just sits there while I do stuff to her. Which isn’t really all that thrilling, but, like I always say, sitting around with a boob in your hand beats sitting around without a boob in your hand.
Seriously though, I’m realizing more and more just how strange Calesha is. I have normal relatively enjoyable conversations with her online, but in person she acts in such a bizarre way. I basically can’t have a conversation with her in person, she just sorta giggles while I look at her and if I ask her a question she just says “I don’t know!” I’ve been chalking it up to nervousness (which is what I still chalk it up to, actually), but she still isn’t showing any signs of improving! Shouldn’t you be over the jitters by the 4th date? Am I really enough to make a person that nervous?
Anyway, I’m not getting tricked into visiting her house again without making sure we have plans for going out and doing things, it’s too boring just sitting around there. And, yeah, I think I’m going to have another talk with her tonight and tell her that, basically, I don’t think this relationship is going any further than the stage it’s already at. I still worry that she wants me to be her boyfriend and it’s becoming increasingly clear to me that that isn’t ever going to be what I want.
Right, she just texted me while I was writing this and said “You’re the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the thought alone makes me smile.” Shit. Should definitely have that talk.
Yes. Definitely. If it isn’t progressing beyond this, then you shouldn’t try to push it any further. It’s a waste of your time and hers. And the fooling around thing is just weird. I’m gonna call you. RIGHT NOW.
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Haha. I don’t mean to laugh at your misfortune. But I do mean to say I told you so. ~I’ll be
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Hmm. You realise that fooling around with her is going to give her mixed signals, right? And that she’s not wrong in thinking it’s something more than it is, right?
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Yes. Haha, boob in your hand…. RYN: Oh, sorry, I forgot all about that! Shall we reschedule for THIS Wednesday, maybe a more central dirt road intersection? I like my teacher too, he’s a computer geek and ADORES math and all, but I like him anyway. He’s very nice and I like listening to his accent because I like yours.
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Yeah. You should.
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sitting around with a boob in your hand beats sitting around without a boob in your hand . . . hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Darn you for not telling me how the talk went! That’s it! Haha. I saw like fifty waffle houses on my way here. And have eaten two little debbie cakes. Remind you to tell you about that thing.
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catch the sparks is saying what I was saying before, but I suppose we’re all different, and there are plenty of people who don’t take fooling around to mean anything more. I’m not one of them, that’s all.
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RYN: Okay, so you’ve told her what it is and what it isn’t, but she’s still saying things like how you’re her first thought in the morning. That right there is clear evidence that she’s thinking it’s more. I don’t know if I can say that most women would find fooling around to be a mixed signal – even with your disclaimer about how you’re not her boyfriend – but I certainly know that a lot of women would. We’re big on subtleties and nuances. ‘Okay, he says we’re not an item, but he’s fooling around with me and spending time with me, so surely he cares about me and it’s clearly heading in that direction.’ We women like to fool ourselves, regardless of what has been said or laid out for us. I can’t help but think that you making out with her is going to do anything but give her more reason to fool herself. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it, I’m just saying that she’s not wrong for thinking that things are progressing towards a relationship, regardless of what you’ve told her.
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eeurgh, that’s just creepy. I’ve always been of the opinion shagging someone who’s just lying there is worse than masturbating. Not to mention just WRONG. I think half the world’s evils could be avoided if no one ever fucks anyone unless they are being simultaneously and actively and willingly fucked back, and I guess I’d say the same goes for this bizarre inbetween pulling & sex activity you’re into.
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But then again, you were the one who said you wanted a girl with zero sexual experience… is this bizarre activity for a virgin? I don’t really know…
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Definitely time to abandon ship!
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I am with everyone else; you need to go ahead and nip this “dating relationship” in the bud. Calesha reminds me of one of those timid women in the 19th century. Anyway, I think that she is acting like a funky woman because 1) It is easier to open up online 2) It is difficult for her to do the same in person. If she is acting inconsistent, you need to go ahead and have that talk…and I am (c)
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afraid to say that you might have to cut her off and not be her friend. The reason for this is because she may not be able to handle your friendship. If you do become her just her friend, she may try everything to weasel another chance out of it. I am not trying to paint Calesha in a bad picture; I don’t know the girl like that, but I know about most women because I am a woman myself (Ha!) (c)
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From my observations and own experiences, most women, especially at this age, think that a date equals commitment or some type of future commitment. And it sounds to me that this girl doesn’t have a ghost of a chance with you. If she cannot keep your interests, then, you guys aren’t even going to get from the Pre-stage to Stage 1 because she has definitely flunked the Pre-stage–hands down. (c)
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I think that it is time you have that talk with her. I suggest that you break up with her. Like you said, it isn’t going to work. I know; I have enough experience with men to know when they are into you and when they aren’t. Also, I think that Calesha needs to mature so more, too. Obviously, she is totally immature, and you guys are on different levels. I think that she wants a boyfriend (c)
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for show and tell–not a boyfriend because she wants something meaningful. Just my opinion though.
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Hmm. Is she agoraphobic or something? I can see how talking online could be freeing but there shouldn’t be any reason why she can’t talk to you at all when you are around her.
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