Clingy
So this is among the things Calesha told me last night:
“But yeah, earlier I was thinking about some stuff and I realized that…I like you…a lot. And I’m not sure exactly why. I mean, besides the obvious reasons of course. But it’s just kind of weird that of ALL the crazy propositions and messages from random guys that I’ve never met….none of them interested me the least bit besides you. I don’t know…this didn’t come out as eloquently as I would have liked.
”
I swear, all I’ve done is ask the girl on a date and let her know that I’m interested in her (which I am), but I really can’t shake the feeling that I’m cruelly leading her on. Admittedly, the way she’s fallen for me this quickly is her issue, not mine, and I can’t take responsibility for her being so inexperienced in relationships and thus being obviously emotionally vulnerable. But at the same time, that she’s already making me feel a bit suffocated and I haven’t even made any romantic commitment to her whatsoever makes me very wary about any long-term romantic possibilities. What I really want to tell her is that “Hey, chill out, I would be interested in you if you’d stop going on about how much our relationship already means to you when we barely even know each other!” Sheesh.
It just seems pretty hopeless at this point, what I’d like to do is go on a couple of dates with her and keep things either casual or without a strict relationship definition, but she is so desperate for a boyfriend that I feel like I’m going to have to just tell her no before she lets me even give it a chance.
I have been thinking a bit about what exactly it is I think I want (I complain about Robin and Darcy being cold and distant, then I complain about Calesha being the exact opposite), but, seriously, there has to be someone with a moderate romantic personality who actually shows some emotion, but doesn’t suffocate you with clinginess, right?
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Right?
HAH! No. Perfect people don’t exist. Calesha is a perfect example of why you can’t have love or a relationship when you go looking for it. You’ll fck it up before there’s even a chance. She does need to chill. She sounds like me at fourteen. And even THEN I wasn’t nearly as crazy as this girl seems. ~I’ll be
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Good luck. If we don’t hear from you for a while, we’ll assume it’s because you went to visit her and when you let her down lightly she decided, “Well if I can’t have him, NO ONE WILL!” and she killed you. So, yes, good luck. Put one of us on speed dial in case she tries any funny business. I wouldn’t put it past her.. ~I’ll be
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That’s too bad, because I’m perfect.. but I live all the way up north. Oh well. 🙂
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no, tell her that as soon as possible! tell her you like her but you want to take things step by step! tell her asap!!!
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^I have told her that I want to take things step by step, which is why I feel like I’m honestly not leading her on. However, thus far, me telling her that I want to take thing step by step hasn’t seemed to really slow her feelings for me any.
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if you’re not feelin’ it … don’t force it. once you start forcing it, you get this unnatural attachment that happens and it ends up being a huge disaster in the end. honestly … she sounds a little nutty. 🙂
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Wooow. She’s nuts. It’s not surprising that she’s so inexperienced because who knows how many guys she’s scared away with similar behavior in the past. Just be careful. That sounded way more mean than I intended. I do hope that she’s just very excited and not crazy.
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Wish I could find a girl who reacted this way to me …
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Explain to her what you’ve written here in a very kind way. If you go out on a few dates with her with the idea in your mind, ‘She’s too clingy,’ & have reservations even before meeting her, then you are leading her on, yes?
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Ah…go with your gut. Do what you feel. Yes. Good luck with that.
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Your For Now’s notes cracked me up. This girl sounds a little…dramatic. But you know what? You’re always talking about how your jealous of my Metro Men experiences. Now you have your very own stalker. I, of course, don’t entertain the idea of dating them but if I were this would be a look into the future.
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I don’t think you’re leading her on in the sense of sending mixed signals. Your behavior is perfectly ok, and if you were seeing someone who was socially aware of such things, you’d be perfectly clear of any wrong doing. However, you DO you know that she is reading far more into this than she should. It’s not your fault but the right thing to do would be to be honest with her.
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Or she’ll probably show up in a wedding dress on your first date.
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she sounds really young. you may have to just tell her chill out before you even go on that date. sounds like trouble, dear boy. definite trouble.
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middle ground is the way to go! too bad you don’t find it in her as you are clearly interested. i’m hoping she’ll figure it out on her own that she needs to chill out… but it doesn’t seem like it will happen. good luck and… hmm, maybe you just need to tell her like it is so you don’t cruelly lead her on as you put it.
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RYN: That’s because you’re basically a perv in pants.
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