Disproportion

Another problem with having very few friends in my life: Any person who does enter my life becomes disproportionately important to me. Robin is the current example, but it can really be extended to almost anyone, other than maybe strictly online friends. The only friend I have at the university who I feel like I am of equal importance to is Jeroz, and the only reason for that is because he’s from Chicago and, thus, knows absolutely no one here. So, we’re alike in the sense that most of the people we’re really friends with are thousands of miles away, but differ in the fact that he’s actually going to move back and be with his friends in another few months.

I don’t know, I feel like my life is just going to waste. And I don’t mean it in the “I’m not having an impact on making the world better” sense, it’ll probably always go to waste in that sense. I just mean it in the sense that: I know I’m a quality person, a good friend, that I could make someone’s life more fulfilling. I have love to give. And I just have this selfish want to actually be worthwhile to someone, for someone to just bloody let me be meaningful to them. And I know I’m meaningful to the people who read this and it does count for something, but I want to be meaningful to someone that I’m more than just text and ideas too. And I just want it so bad that I’m instantly in love with anyone who gives me the slightest notion that I might matter to them. And I just have all this love, I love people so fucking much, and it just goes to waste, because no one wants it or I don’t know how to give it to them.

So, what I mean to say is that I need more friends, yeah, you knew that already.

Yours For Now...

January 20, 2008

I keep telling you, you can’t go looking for love or trying to find it because it won’t happen! It has to be the last thing on your mind! Clearly you are happy with yourself as a person as far as your personality is concerned, which makes you mostly there already. Now, just stop caring about trying to find someone to give everything to. It won’t happen that way. ~I’ll be

Sigh. You will be fine. ~I’ll be

Beautifully/Torn

I agree with Yours For Now…, you never find it when you’re looking for it. Just give it some time, and it’ll come to you when you’re not even expecting it. TTFN and have fun, ♥ Andrea

Yesterdays_Girl

Just stop obsessing over it. You’re a quality person and sooner or later people with realize that. OK?

TakeMeToTheWind

I know, I have done so much research on it. But to me it’s more then my body. I have so little to controll. It’s something I can. I can’t even put in to words the things that lead up to the first time. If you would like to hear a good song, look up courage by superchick. She is helping me. It’s a lot I need to face, so thanks.

I think your readers should shut up and actually pay attention to what you’re trying to say. Don’t listen to any of it. I understand what you mean, Matt. I think you definitely are doing the right thing by putting yourself in situations where you can meet more people. The more people you meet, the more of a chance you have of developing something special– friendly or romantic. Either way, it

doesn’t matter. Anything is better than nothing. I also strongly believe that the people who put forth the effort towards a social life are the most social people. Having friends and significant others doesn’t JUST happen unlike some people believe. Yes, you shouldn’t look for love, but you aren’t looking for love. You’re just looking for people to develop relationships with. There’s a difference.

Trying to talk to people in your classes, talking to people you meet through OKCupid, taking that dance class… Matt, you’re doing fantastic! The fact that me and you, people who have such different social personalities, are having the same social problems shows me that it’s not that we aren’t trying enough. I think it’s just exceptionally difficult this time of year for some reason. Eventually

all of your efforts towards having a thriving social life will pay off. There has got to be more people out there who also feel that it’s difficult to meet other people. It’s just a matter of finding such people and being exposed to them. It’s kind of like all the marketing I have to do at work. I keep putting all this effort in to getting people in the door but I haven’t seen results yet. I know

it can be discouraging but that’s what you have me for! To keep you going and to share what little advice I can offer you. Haha… yeah, believe me soulfriend, we’re in the same boat. In the midst of all your attempts, don’t forget to have fun. I think those are the main things to remember. Don’t get discouraged, and remember to have fun. And Matt… I’m really, really glad you realize how much

you have to offer as a friend. Believe me, if we lived within a reasonable distance from each other, we would be searching for friends together. My friends keep proving to me how worthless they are so I’m definitely in search of some quality people. As Jack Johson sings, “Where have all the good people gone?” The only ones left are boring, mean, selfish, or a combination. Or so it seems. They’re

out there, Matt. I’m proud of you. 🙂