Human Nature

Heather left for England on Thursday. I know this may hardly seem a matter of consequence, being that she is normally living in California and is already thousands of miles away, but the impact of her leaving is felt nonetheless. Time change, phone rates, and general busyness will (and has already begun to) make my talking to her more sparse. Not that I’m suffering overwhelming depression over it, but talking to her regularly is a big part of my life, and her being gone is going to take some getting used to.
 
In the meantime, I’ve had plenty of time to think as I transition into a new routine. I’m increasingly noticing the predictable patterns that human behavior follows. Now, I’m not one to claim that “people never change,” but I am increasingly realizing that for them to change and for the predictable pattern to be broken is a very rare thing. I think it is especially rare for people to change without an entirely new set of circumstances to guide them. Basically, if you put a person into the same circumstances, no matter how much they claim to have changed, you can expect them to repeat their behavior, for better or worse.
 
It’s also occurring to me just how easy it is for people to lie and how often and unquestioningly people do it. My general trust for humanity is currently at an all-time low. I trust Heather still, definitely, and for the most part I trust my online friends and fellow Open Diarists Brittainy and Erin. I can’t think of anyone else who I don’t constantly question. Actually, constantly question is a bad way of putting it – it’s more that I just distance myself and consider our interaction more a game than an opportunity to develop a genuine personal connection. Which it is.
 
Such attitudes are making me sincerely question things like marriage and just serious relationships in general. I’m becoming more aware of why people treat their relationships more like an amusing pastime than an attempt to form a connection with a potential life-partner. Primarily because the people who don’t are just romantics ignorant to the realities of human nature.
 
Like me.