Driving Me Crazy

As has been covered multiple times in the diary, I’m currently transitioning from living in the college dormitory the last 2 years of my life to the wholly new experience of living in an apartment. Now, I’ve spoken on the various advantages this arrangement provides, but there is one major disadvantage. That being I have to drive.

And, well, I can’t. No, really. Yes, now, I do have a small card proclaiming that I’m a “licensed driver,” but, well, anyone who has ridden with me will tell you that the card is absolute rubbish. Now, when you combine the fact that I’m a rather horrid driver and I’m awful with directions too, yes, well, it’s rather a mess. The following series seems to happen daily.

Passenger: Yes, you make a right turn up here.

Me: Oh, ok.

Passenger: Um . . . you just went by the turn.

Me: Oh, you meant there! At the red light! Oh, dear, I have to turn around now, don’t I?

Passenger: Yes, that would be good.

(Death is narrowly avoided as I place the car in reverse)

Me: Ok, so I turn at the red light, yes?

Passenger: Yes.

Me: Yes, got it.

(Turn is made)

Passenger: Um . . . you should have turned left.

Me: But you said to turn right!

Passenger: That . . . was . . . before we turned around . . .

Me: Oh. Right.

Yes, now, just repeat this exchange and similar versions during the course of my day, and you’ll begin to get the idea. Really, the whole “Matt is driving me into a near-death experience” is beginning to get a bit hackneyed. It’s become something like, “Oh, I rather like this song. Who sings it? Oh, and, Matt, by the way, you might want to turn around, you’re going in the wrong direction on a one way street.”

Yes, you’re right, I’m going to kill somebody. Let us hope it’s not a Goddess.

T-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-family: ‘Times New Roman'”>Passenger: Yes, that would be good.

(Death is narrowly avoided as I place the car in reverse)

Me: Ok, so I turn at the red light, yes?

<span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; ms

o-fareast-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-family: ‘Times New Roman'”>Passenger: Yes.

Me: Ok, got it.

(Turn is made)

Passenger: Um . . . you should have turned left.

<p>Me: But you said to turn right!

Passenger: That . . . was . . . before we turned around . . .

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