How I Tomahawk Chopped My Way to Boredom

Due to my continued devotion towards geographically friendly baseball teams, I spent last night in
Atlanta
and took in a Braves game, and they actually managed to win this time, I surmise due to my doing the Tomahawk Chop (along with the various vocal sounds associated with the movement). Those curious as to what exactly this is can contact Kristy, as I hear she does a damn good one. However, all of this is beside the point.

No, the point is that after watching the Braves comeback victory, my little family group skipped back to the hotel to spend the night, and I was suddenly stiffened with boredom. The primary reason being that, for a rare night, I was completely without internet access. Now, honestly, though I am a bit of a “computer nerd” (only in the time spent online department however – I’m not quite sure who started the rumor that I’m “good” with computers), I traditionally have little trouble finding other means to occupy myself if the internet is temporarily unavailable. There’s always a P.G. Wodehouse book to read, and if that fails, there’s certainly a Woody Allen movie to watch. However, I had brought neither distracter with me to the hotel and suddenly found myself faced with a harsh reality.

I was going to have to watch television.

Now, once again, this may seem like a small problem, and, at the time, it even did to me. After all, I even occasionally watch a TV program at my home – there’s always multiple variations of HBO to view, not to mention IFC or FSTV. So, I merely quickly scanned the listing, and, naturally, found none of the aforementioned channels.

<span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-

language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"”>Well, no matter, there’s 40 plus channels, surely there’s something on, yes?

Yes. There’s plenty on. All of it is just complete worthless crap, that’s all. Although, really, I am pleased to know that there’s now a Family Feud program hosted by the guy from Home Improvement. Really, is that not brilliant?

Yeah, I really need a laptop . . .