School

NOTE: Some people seemed to be having trouble accessing this diary for whatever reason, so I’m deleting the original version and re-posting it in a copy-and-paste sort of way. Hopefully this will fix the problem. I wouldn’t want any of you dedicated readers to go diary-less.

I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

— Yogi Berra

Ah, school. The place that everyone hates while they’re there, but can’t wait to get back to when they’re away. I’m at the “hates while they’re there” point at the moment, but I only have about 2 weeks left, so I’ll be at the “can’t wait to get back” point before you know it.

Anyway, my grades have been going through their usual downward spiral that always occurs at this time of year, as I get bored with school and essentially quit doing work at the time when the work most needs to be done. I still think I’m going to pass though.

In fact, I often get questioned by my classmates on how I manage to make quite good grades (I currently have a 3.7 GPA), while doing only an average amount of studying. The general assumption seems to be that my brain is just so much more efficient than others that I can easily make good grades without effort. However, shockingly, this isn’t really what I believe. See, there’s very little you do in school, even college, that is very difficult (and if it is difficult, the teacher is sure to give a large curve anyway). My reasoning on why most people find the easy work so troubling is that during class they are thinking about:

a) If the person sitting by them likes them

b) Their bad hair day

c) Johnny Deep

D) The hot girl that just walked by 

E) The hot girl they saw on TV last night.

Generally, anyone who just ignores these 5 factors, and, instead concentrates on what the teacher is actually saying will find whatever seemingly impossible concept exceedingly obvious and make quite good grades. However, as Woody Allen said, 70% of success in life is just showing up, and I’m not trying to imply that paying attention is a particularly easy thing to do. We’re an A.D.D. society, and asking us to concentrate on much of anything that isn’t shiny and colorful is really asking quite a lot. I’m just saying that the next time you find yourself befuddled by your evil professor’s latest assignment, reasonably think about it for about 5 minutes and all  your problems will be solved. I’ve tried it, it works.

I remind you to keep in mind that I have done no scientific study to prove any of this, and, basically just made it up as I was typing it. However, I still believe it to be true, and, really, that’s all the evidence you need.