My Deep Hatred

“The size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it, but only by the measurement applied to it by the person specially affected by it. The king’s lost crown is a vast matter to the king, but of no consequence to the child. The lost toy is a great matter to the child, but in the king’s eyes it is not a thing to break the heart about.”

— Mark Twain

The sentiment on my last diary seems to be somewhere in between “Yeah, I hate those depressed bastards too” and “Geesh, why do you hate us, we’re just depressed?” both of which naturally miss the entire point of the diary. If the diary had a point, it was simply that I was alarmed by the number of people who seem to be depressed and suicidal on here. I certainly don’t hate you if you’re depressed, and I wasn’t even implying that I wish you’d just keep your depression to yourself. Hey, if you’re depressed you should write about it. That’s what your diary is for. I was just commenting that there were a whole lot of depressed people out there, for whatever reason, and I thought it strange because most people I come across on a daily basis just don’t seem to be THAT depressed. That’s all.

I realize I did make light of some of your problems, because, frankly, when I read what some of you are depressed about I do find it a bit humorous. To me, some of your gigantic problems seem to be a bit trivial (I’m obviously excluding those of you who are going through serious abuse or the death of a friend or family member here). However, as the Twain quote I began the entry with indicates, the fact that I think your problems are trivial means just that, I think your problems are trivial. What I think of your problems means nothing. What matters is what you think of your problems, not me.

With that said, it also seems to me that many of you don’t really have any particular reason for being depressed, you just are. I’m no doctor, but this is probably a sign of clinical depression. Being depressed over not having a date to the prom may be trivial, but it’s probably quite normal. Being depressed for no reason whatsoever is different, and it’s got more to do with an imbedded low self-esteem than anything.

The problem with low self-esteem is that, once you have it, I’d bet it’s pretty hard to get rid of, and I don’t know how much wallowing in your self-pity on a diary is going to help. It’s probably a better idea to actually take an active role in finding out what’s causing the depression and what can be done about it.

When life gives me lemons, I may not make lemonade, but I at least try to stay away from where I got the lemons from in the first place. Writing in a diary about your depression is a good idea, but it’s an even better idea to decide what the problem is and take action. Think about the reasons you are depressed. If you’re unhappy with your weight, go on a healthy diet and exercise program until you’re satisfied. If you can’t get a date, maybe you should take some chances. Ask someone you like out. Nothing’s going to happen while you sit around drowning in your self-pity. Whatever problems you have, stand up and face them. Eventually, maybe you can even make a little lemonade yourself.