Diary Depression

When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”

— Sydney J. Harris

I’ve been off reading random diaries again, and, geesh, are you guys ever depressed or what? I guess it’s somewhat the nature of a diary that depressed people are writing, (after all, all the happy people are out partying, right), but I still sometimes feel like I just don’t fit in around here. I don’t want to kill myself. I don’t even want to pretend that I want to kill myself in order to garner attention. I don’t have the desire to inflict pain upon myself. I’m not in love with a girl who doesn’t know I exist. I don’t feel as if I’ll never be loved. I’m not pissed off about the stupid people at school being assholes. I don’t hate myself. I’m not fat. I don’t think everyone hates me and no one understands. In fact, other than being forced to live in a small area with someone I dislike for another month, I’m quite happy.

So, what’s the point of even writing a diary if you’re not going to complain about your escalating problems or at the very least write some bad poetry? I don’t know. I suppose I do it for my own amusement really. Plus, in case I ever do decide I want to kill myself, it’s good to have a nice readership built up who can quickly tell me not to. You’re my safety net.

Of course, I did wake up last night at 2:00 in the morning, only to see my roommate watching a Girls Gone Wild infomercial, which I had to listen to for the next 30 minutes. That may not be as big of a crisis as wanting to kill yourself, but damn if it doesn’t bother me. So, in the end, I guess I may not be wrestling with the meaning of my existence and if it’s worth even living for another second, but I still get pissed off when I can’t watch what I want on television. This diary is where I express that anger. And that’s what diaries are for.

After all, if we acted on every impulse wed be killing each other, right?

LurkingFridge

April 1, 2004

Hahaha, I enjoyed this entry very much. You certainly got it right about the depressed people, suicidal people, fat people, and bad poetry. Granted, it’s cool to have an outlet for everything.

Steal the quote, knock yourself out. I mean, it’s sort of fundamental that I stole it from Oscar Wilde. 😉 Spread the Wilde love. I just finished my own romp with the Random Entry button. It’s refreshing to see a person without serious problems. Unlike all of the serious eating disorder entries out there… *shudder*

I have rated your diary. Ice Angel-Rater

the magnificent jess

word but someties i complain i try to be productive eat more jello

Jenni!

I enjoy that your diary is always upbeat and fun to read in a sea of depression. Sorry my diary has been so depressed lately. Just going through a lot of stuff. Hopefully I will be more upbeat soon.

*nods* Exactly. I write about being annoyed at the world more than anything else, but I do take the time to write an “I love life” entry every now and then, too. Like today’s. 🙂

clinically dorky

April 2, 2004

Ill buy you your own tv one day when Im rich and stuff.. And I hear ya on that small area boredom stupid crap.. I cant wait to get away from here.. some other small area might even be better than here… but anyway.. Ill talk to you later.. Christen

Not everyone feels the same as you. Not everyone has the same experiences as you do. I write in my OD about how I feel. I don’t write in there to try and impress anyone. If someone dosn’t like what I write .. how I feel and what I experience in “life” .. then they don’t have to read it. It’s as simple as that. But what I do write about is a part of me, just as what you write about is a part of you

I likes ya diary alot..but yeah…I’m depressed all the time..that’s why i started the diary…to get my thoughts and feelings out….

your awesome

i’m depressed, suicidal, fat AND i write bad poetry! u must really hate me! “I did wake up last night at 2:00 in the morning”- think about it and then get back to me.. 🙂 briz

“I did wake up last night at 2:00 in the morning” That’s actually remarkably funny. I’m also officially a goof.

mairead

April 11, 2004

It’s tricksy, because for whatever reason it’s usually easier to spew the bad than collect the good. And it seems like a fashionable thing, sadly, to be dissatisfied with your lot. Not everyone here is depressed, though. I admit it’s an increased likelihood due to the medium, but look around enough… There are MANY reasons to keep a diary, even if your life is currently 100% problem-free.