Gratitude for three things

"Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality."
Alfred Painter

I was listening to a podcast of Martin Seligman yesterday. He said he had always been a glass half empty kinda guy. After many years practicing and researching abnormal psychology he realised that nothing was really being done to prevent poor mental health. He said in the interview that pleasure is fleeting. That doing something for someone other than yourself, helped to fill up your glass. The feeling of happiness was lasting when it was outside of looking for just pleasure for yourself.

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."
Albert Schweitzer

One activity he suggested was before you go to sleep each night, to write about 3 things that went well throughout the day, that you could be grateful for. More importantly, write about why they went well. He said, you will find this addictive because over time, it will make you so much happier. So, I am going to give it a burl.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
John F Kennedy

1. I slept in today until 11am. I don’t normally like to sleep in so late in the weekend, especially as I had to go to University all day yesterday. It means that I miss out on half of the day. Except today, I told myself that I was only wanting to get up so early to do more work and study on my Sunday and that perhaps it was good for me to be fully rested. I was thankful that I slept in until my body naturally woke me up, rather than my mobile phone’s alarm loud beep charming in my ear and me pressing the sleep button 6 times within the hour before fully waking up. I just let the day flow, although it didn’t go the plan I had made yesterday. I ended up seeing my friend Sarah as well, who brought over her new puppy to show me. I am enjoying Sarah’s company more now that we are older. I used to find her to be very needy when we were in our early twenties. Now we are friends on equal terms. 

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
Marcel Proust

2. I am trying to get rid of a loan I have. Except, I am not very disciplined sometimes. I see something and I buy it. I think this comes from growing up in a home where there was never any money. I think it also comes from working like a dog to get into a job where I earn a lot of money, enough never to really have to think about not buying something. This week I gave money to World Vision for a displaced family in Lebanon to get a box of seeds to grow enough vegetables to be self sufficient. I also bought a box of school supplies for a child in Cambodia. I gave money to Aspect (the Autism charity) and also to an organisation in Australia, the Edgar Rice Centre, who work to lobby for refugee rights not to be in mandatory detention on the island of Nauru and not to be returned to places like Afghanistan and Iraq. I did buy myself something unnecessary today but I felt a feeling of abundance rather than guilt.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
Melodie Beattie

3. Tonight, I had dinner at my step mother’s house. It appears that she is drinking less. That makes me extremely thankful because it means that my sisters are not being neglected. Last week when she didn’t come home, it was because she was working rather than out drinking. There is tension between my father and I, unsaid. I accept this tension. He apparently thinks I am angry with him. He is correct. I am thankful that I can live with the tension without feeling anxious about it. I am proud of myself for not letting him bail me up for money. I am normally a real softie, I offer it without him even having to ask. My shrink is making me realise how much he uses our relationship, as though I was his bank manager. If I turn off the money, he will switch banks. He has proven this to me but I don’t feel personally disappointed by it. It is as if I have the television on in the background, I can hear the story but I am not engaged in it. I could turn it off and not worry too much about finding out what the ending is of the c grade drama. What does matter to me though is that my three sisters have all shown or told me about their appreciation of me this week. They have told me that I am the one person in their life that they can rely on. I wish I could give that to my late brother as well but I am sure he knows that I still think of him daily 13 years later.

"Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."
Margaret Cousins