Boob Tube Review
Does anyone still call their TV a boob tube? Since back in the day TVs have gotten bigger and thinner and the alternatives have gotten smaller and smaller. Have kids today latched onto boobette tubes? Tablet boobs and smartboobs and boobs that let you schedule the time and place of your next feeding?
Maybe it’s not even politically correct to call it a boob tube because it isn’t very flattering to boobs.
It’s cheesy Christmas movie season. The electronic equivelent of trashy romance novels–not that there is anything wrong with trashy romance novels (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).
There are two channels that seem to be running nightly Christmas "movies." These are extremely formulaic with tissue paper thin plots suggesting plenty of drama and everything gets wrapped in a tidy bow in the last three minutes. Really, the last three minutes. The plots are so thin that you know what’s going to happen after the first ten minutes, but you have to wait for the last three minutes to be able to say, "I knew that was going to happen."
Oh, and they are so addictive.
The Lifetime channel is running two of these productions each night and I believe it is the ION channel ("Positively Entertaining" is their slogan, best TV slogan ever) that is also showing these. You are warned to avoid these channels at the risk of being pulled in and then being left very guilty of having secretely enjoyed the schmaltz.
The interesting thing about these movies is that each one includes one b-list star, exactly one, and not in the lead role. Bruce Davison was in "Christmas Angel" the night before last and I saw that Louise Fletcher and Judd Nelson were listed in last nights’ offerings. I was unable to glue myself to either movie last night, so I can’t comment on Louise and Judd’s performances.
All of these movies seem to have been produced around 2009-2010. I’m not sure if I missed the world premiers on network television or if these were all stored on the shelf until they had aged to cheesy perfection, but there are multiple servings available all month, so be aware.
Ender is out.