Two ducks are sitting in a pond…one says “Quack”

The other says "awwh I was gonna say that."

Ok so I’m not a comedian, but hey! I can try.

I skipped classes today, I seriously just didn’t see the point of getting out of bed. 🙂 plus it was cold!

So I spent the day trying to distract myself from the mess I’m making in regards to uni and my life in general. Needless to say, it didn’t go so well. I just feel pretty alone at the minute.

My boyfriend and I haven’t been speaking much recently, he’s been busy with revision and stuff… but even before all that we really struggled to find the time to talk. or when we did it just resulted in a fight.

And now he’s coming home for christmas, and we’ll do nothing but fight and have sex…because that’s pretty much how our relationship works. He won’t want to spend his time with me because he’s been waiting to come home and see all his home friends.

On the otherhand, I will want him to spend his time with me because I’ve been waiting for him to come home to see me. I guess that’s just me being selfish. But he doesn’t believe in mixing me with his friends… ever…. Well I know who they are and stuff, but he doesn’t want me there with him. Maybe they just don’t like me. Maybe he’s kind of embarassed by me.

Who knows, all I know is it’s hard.

And I’m tired of feeling like I’m not in a relationship. But I can’t mention this to him because he’s stressed about exams, which is fair enough obviously. But even though he’s stressed, he still finds time for his friends, whereas with me he can’t get away fast enough.

So i’m jealous of his friends, and I’m jealous of one girl imparticular who always seems to be there and even when I’m with him, she’s texting him and taking him away from me. It doesn’t help that she’s gorgeous and nerdy. She’s the kind of girl who everyone would match him with.

And I’m not.

I dunno what to do really, I’m just finding this all a little difficult and I can’t point out all my failings because then he’ll see them too.

So instead I rant on here, where my words will get buried beneath all the other entries.

Joyful:)

I hope everyone else is getting excited about the holidays!!

Karen