Not Fast Enough…

Hey All,

Apparently I’m not fast enough at Tim Horton’s, and yesterday I was basically told that I need to speed up or I’ll be terminated. It’s seriously hard for me to go fast when my feet hurt! And it would seem that when I do speed up, I make tons of accuracy errors. Oh yay. So maybe I should have taken that call center job after all. I’m not sure if I can speed up. All I can do is try. My manager was telling me that she could serve 5 people in the time that I serve 1. Okay, well I’m sorry I’ve only been there a month and a half and don’t have a "system" down that I can be superwoman.

This is all compounded by the fact that I found out that I am just now 8 weeks pregnant. Estimated due date is July 24 (by the ultrasound – July 22 by my cycle). I’m still kind of in shock, even though I took a pregnancy test last month that came back positive. Pookie is happy. I haven’t told my mom or dad yet, I’m kind of scared to, which is silly because I’m a grown-ass woman and all… ugh. Well we have a boy’s name already – just need a girl’s name – just in case, ’cause knowing our luck it’s going to be another girl.

♥ Grá Agus Solace ♥
~K.

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RYN: Added!

EWS
December 14, 2012

RYN: Sure. Remind me toward the end of January, and I’ll put it up the month of February. Eric

First off…OMG….I don’t know if you had already made the baby announcement yet, but CONGRATS!!!! SOOOOOO happy for you :-)!!! Maybe you’ll be surprised and it’ll be a boy ;-). Now onto your note lol… I appreciate the lack of hatefulness in your note :-). Yeah, I’ve received a few when I first found out he was married and announced it here. A lot of “How could you consider seeing him again”

Etc… But…I look at it like this….over a year ago, she (according to him) gave him permission to go outside the marriage, so I don’t consider it wrong. I don’t consider it cheating. However, her rule was that whatever he does, it’s only supposed to be a one night thing, not an ongoing relationship. So, in that respect…I guess he’s in the wrong. I also agree in that if it wasn’t with me,

It would be with someone else. I’ve had affairs with married men before (where their wives DIDN’T give permission), and knowing they’re spending a holiday with their wife never really bothered me because I have rules in place for myself when seeing a married man. 1) I don’t get attached. It’s for fun and nothing more. 2) I don’t expect him to leave his wife for me, and even if he wanted to,

I wouldn’t commit to him because..hey…he cheated on his wife with me. Who’s the say he wouldn’t cheat on me? And yes, I’ve been with married men that wanted to leave their wife for me. It didn’t happen. They left, and tried to get me to commit and I refused. They eventually moved on. The problem with D* and I though is that I didn’t know he was married going into this so I DID get attached and

I DO have feelings for him…more so than I would’ve allowed myself to develop had I known he was married from the get go. But, that’s neither here nor there…what’s done is done and you can’t change the past, so I can only deal with it. I’m sure there will be times when I’m going to want him with me and he won’t be able to, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Fortunately, I don’t

have any family here so the whole “family gatherings” thing isn’t an issue. Yeah, my best friend lives an hour away…actually closer to him than to me lol…and that may eventually become an issue, but…again…we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I’ve been single for 2 years now, and I’ve met dozens of men in that time with dozens of first (and last) dates. I haven’t found the perfect

one for me yet, but D* is as close as I’ve found so far…hence the development of feelings lol. All the good ones are either married or gay lol. But, like I told him last night when we were talking….he’s filling a need for me right now. When I’m with him, the rest of the world stands still. It’s like the perfect first date every time. There’s some romance, flirting, sex, chivalry, I mean…he

treats me like a queen! Dude…he opens car doors for me. Really? Who the hell does that anymore lol? I’m not complaining…just in shock…every time he does it. He kisses my hand lol. Again…who does that these days lol? He’s always telling me how beautiful I am and how smart I am and how much he loves spending time with me…how he couldn’t wait to see me, etc.. Aside from all of that…

He has his own life and his own responsibilities. I’m not busy right now since classes are out till January 7th, and I took 2 weeks off from the shelter, but once I get back to school and work, I’m going to be hella busy. I don’t have time for a guy that’s going to demand all of my free time when #1 I don’t have a lot of free time and #2 the free time that I DO have has to be spread between

ME time, time with my daughter, and time with my friends…in addition to time with John Doe..whomever I may be dating. His time is limited in his life too, so he isn’t (and won’t be) demanding of my time. And yet…when we’re together…no one else exists. It’s just us, and we’re…just perfect. And yeah…I’m starting to day dream as I write this lol. Sorry I blew up your notes. I don’t have

the $$ for OD+ at the moment. Sucks though that I may not see him for a month. He’s going out of town for Xmas, then is having friends in town for the first 2 weeks of January. It’s a draw back of him being married, but…we’ll figure something out, I’m sure :-). You know, before I found out he was married, I thought I might be falling for him. After I found out he was married…

I realized it was too late…. I had fallen for him. I’ve never been in love with a married man. That’s rule # one. Then again, I’ve never been involved with a married man whom I didn’t know was married. I’m pissed at him for that, but…not enough to walk away. Guess I love him more than I was angry.

Oh, and one more thing lol…Yeah, my eyes are open, and I don’t have *TOO* many false hopes lol. I’m just enjoying this while it lasts…which granted, I hope is a long time lol. He said last night something along the lines of not wanting us to see each other ALL the time..like a few times a week because we’re both enjoying this and we don’t want it to get old and boring. He’s right…I don’t

want it to get old and boring. I want it to last a long time because I’m really enjoying it :-).