A Couple Funnies…

A woman goes into the tattoo store and says she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her upper left thigh on her pelvic bone, so the tattoo artist does it and it turns out really good.  Next she says she wants Santa Claus tattooed on her upper right thigh on her pelvic bone.  The tattoo artist thinks it’s a strange request but does it anyways.  Again the tattoo turns out great and they are both pleased.  She puts her pants back on, pays for the tattoos, and is about to walk out the door when curiousity gets the better of the tattoo artist.  He stops her and states "I’m just curious, but why did you have me place these particular tattoos on your body?"

She replies, "I’m sick of my husband saying there is nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.  Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.  The test result is positive.

Shouting, cursing, and crying, the mother asks, ‘Who was the pig that did this to you?  I want to know!’

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.  Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.  A mature and distinguished man with grey hair, impeccably dressed in an Armani suit, steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.  He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: ‘Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

‘I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation but I’ll take care of my responsibility. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

‘Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.  If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

‘However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?’

At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him,
‘You gonna try again.’

Hope you enjoyed!

Signing off for now…
(¯`v´¯) ~K.
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 ¸.´¸.*¨)  ¸.*¨)
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