I HATE good-byes…

There is nothing good about good-byes.
My insides feel almost torn to shreds.
It’s so hard…Harder since I know he just doesn’t understand why I don’t go with him…Why I don’t just move.
This is my home, I’m too tied to the area…I can’t leave here, it’s part of who I am.
He feels like I don’t want to live with him…And maybe to some degree that thought does terrify me…I’m afraid if we are together 365 days a year, things will unravel.

*sighs* Still…Doesn’t change the fact that I’m feeling close to gutted.

It was a wonderful visit, 95% of the time…There were a couple rough spots, one I hated…But instead of just letting it go, which I could have…But I fear too what those actions would have caused…I pushed until it was fixed.
There were 3 moments that stand out in my mind as wonderful moments….That just…I don’t know…They were just sweet little moments.
One of them was right after the roughest spot…We ended up debating who was right about who the best Doctor Who is. *laughs* It ended up with us snuggled together, watching an 8 minute clip for the 4th Doctor (his preferred) on his cell phone. Then he went looking for polls that said which Doctor was the best Doctor…The one poll we found had the 4th Doctor at 37%…&, of course, beating him out with 39% was the 10th Doctor. *grins* [My choice, of course.] We agreed to decide that they were the best, and leave it at that. *laughs*

The second was just him commenting that he was an ‘old man’…And I replied with ‘Nyet’…& he replied with ‘Da’…We just kept going back and forth like that for a bit…It just felt…Special.

& then last night, after I got home from school, and before we went to sleep, we were picking out shapes in the ceiling. I have one of those stucco kind of ceilings with the swirls and bumps and what not…It was just a wonderful moment.

Anyway…What else…

Wasil & his parent’s got me a new sewing machine for Xmas. It’s got all kinds of special stitches.

Harley’s leg bump…Ug…I’m going to go check on it in a few minutes…I have to call and tell his doctor what it’s doing, if anything, now. He’s on his 2nd kind of antibiotic (& unfortunately at his father’s this weekend). The other night it just spewed this disgusting liquid that looked like slightly thicker than normal chocolate milk. Wasil took charge and kept squeezing as much of it out as possible, knowing that’s what it needed. It hasn’t, to my knowledge, leaked as much as it did that night since then.
The first visit to the doctor he couldn’t get much to come out to culture, but managed a little…He took more to culture Tuesday when we were there.
Anyway…He was figuring strep or staph (‘normal’ type infections)…Nope…What he grew from the first culture as e-coli! O.o How the heck does that get into a leg that doesn’t have any kind of open wound?

There seems like there was something else I was going to write about when I got the chance…Perhaps school…But I can get to that stuff later.
I did survive all three of my first days of classes…Work load is slightly daunting, but I’m hoping to get it sorted out. I need to find a school with more diverse student population tho for my next bunch of observations (but that’s only 3 hours total…So hopefully it won’t be too trying.) What is going to suck is finding 8 hours to do some kind of volunteer work! O.o But…I’ll get to that later.

*is currently wearing a NASA t-shirt* It was Wasil’s until he tossed it at me this morning while getting ready to leave. I’m not sure he was intending to leave it…But I put it on, and I think he figured he wasn’t going to get it back without a fight. *slight laugh*