WARNING: This entry is quite negative…*sigh*

Drank two cups of coffee between 6-9 in an attempt to stay awake in class…Suppose it worked, as I didn’t fall asleep…But I still feel beyond tired.

Hate the long car ride home, dark and long, and ripe for thought…Hate my brain anyway.
Of late I’ve been in a mood…The hide in my hole, don’t want to even pretend to be social mood…I hate that mood.
Add to it, the long car ride home, and thinking…I hate thinking…Hate where my mind goes sometimes…

*sigh* I just wanted to try and figure out why I can think out scenarios, yet have such a time acting on them…Instead it goes from what should be happy or helpful thoughts, to lets list all the evils I’ve had to endure that might contribute to it.
Which goes from inflicted evils, to ‘allowed’ evils, to just gave up and didn’t really seem to care anymore evils…Hate the path I wandered for a while…

So tired…

I bailed on Wasil tonight even…Nearly an hour ago I told him I was going to bed…& I am going, I just haven’t gotten there yet. *sigh*

I hate having to go to school on a night when I have to leave the Critters behind…
Hate that I come home to a dark house…Mum in a bit of a mood (can only assume from what little was said that Harley gave her a hard time when it came to bed time)…
Hate that Harley has to be asleep before I get home…His bedtime is the same time I get out of class…
Hate that Sonja was locked away in her room, and says she didn’t realize I’d came home, so I didn’t see her until she came out to find someone to tuck her in…

Hate that my schedule is so messed up that I don’t get to just run into or meet up with the two friends I actually have that are still on campus…I have to try and sort out a time to meet up with James…I have to get a hold of Tichele and see what times she’s actually on campus.

Hate that reconnecting with a cousin I’ve missed for ages, and wondered about for ages, now makes me not as happy…

Hate, that outside my immediate family, anyone who matters to me are 100s & 1000s of miles away…
Hate that there are a couple beings out there that I have no idea how to get a hold of…That sometimes I just really need them, and they aren’t there…

Hate I can’t write…Even if I sort of wrote a page, it feels like nothing, and it’s going nowhere…
Hate listening to others talk about being in Creative Writing class, and wishing I was…Or at least had a class that I was in because I wanted to be in it, not because I have to be in it.

Hate that I just want to crawl into a corner, curl up into a ball, and cry my eyes out…& I really have no reason…Other than I just happen to feel the way I do.

& it’s not like the day was really that awful…
But I don’t even feel like going into the pluses, which really sucks, as I know this entry is so very negative, and negative is not good at all…

Seen 3 Shikas on the way to school tonight…
Seen a Blazer go in a ditch (because it was being driven by an idiot apparently…As common sense would of kept them on the road…Some people just shouldn’t have licenses).
Got a fairly decent parking spot tonight…

Yeah…Think I’m just going to go do that sleep thing…Before another whole list of hates come spewing out…*sigh*