Just to make him right…

…Which I’m not sure why I would want to go and do a silly thing like that.

He confuses me…But I suppose I will get use to it.
I don’t know what I’m doing…But it’s an entertaining ride none-the-less.

He asks if I’m his, and I ask if he’s mine…But it doesn’t mean we are anymore more than what we are…Which is confusing. Because I said I’m his, and he’s said he’s mine…But we aren’t together…We just are. This was yesterday morning/afternoon.

Last night we talked about…Gods, I’m not even sure where it came from…Oh wait…Yeah, I do…Nevermind that part. ANYWAY…It was just something was said, and he kind of questioned my emotions/feelings…Naming them without naming them…Simply asking how they coud of gotten so strong in such a short time.
Seriously…I can understand why he’d question…I question what I’m feeling…I don’t know what I’m feeling…It’s confusing and troublesome…I just know what I do know…& that I always seem to get hurt somewhere along the lines.
I’m thinking of him non-stop, it’s crazy really. Then again, I’ve been talking to him just about every day for the last week…Usually until unGodly hours of the night…He’s Industrial, though he’s had to conform to the norm for work.
But at one point because of how the conversation had gone the statement was made : "So you want to use me."…Or something to that effect. The thought nearly crushed me…I don’t want him to think that I only want to use him…Then again…I really don’t know what is going on…Some could/would (probably anyway) say  he was using me…I don’t know…It’s confusing.

Tonight…We had a very entertaining converstation…Along with some more mundane moments. *sigh* I’m just confused…I don’t know what I’m doing…I don’t know what he’s doing…I don’t know what I want…I don’t know what he wants…Though the night before I asked him, point blank, what he wants from me…He said he wants to be my friend…But that he doesn’t believe people are friends just because they say they are…It’s something that has to become…People have to get to know each other. Bloody hell…I’m going to lose my bloody mind.

Other things…
Monday my grandmother, my fater’s mother, passed away. Her funeral is tomorrow. We haven’t told the Critters yet..They wouldn’t of been able to go, as they are at their Idiot’s house…& it just seems like it might put a damper on their Yule.

Speaking of the Idiot…He picked up the Critters to take them to a Christmas party at the fire barn…Sonja didn’t want to go, Harley didn’t really want to either…They were planning on coming back…But apparently since their break starts tomorrow it figured he got them tonight, even though I was thinking tomorrow…So he decided to just keep them…I talked to Sonja on the phone…She was crying..It broke my heart…And the bloody Idiot still didn’t get it, still didnt’ understand that he’s making her miserable! I hate him!

Grades should be in tomorrow…I already know my Pottery grade is 4.0….I can feel fairly certain that I’ll be getting a 4.0 in Abnormal Psych too…It’s the other two classes that the grades worry/elude me. From what one of the people in our book review group in Ethics said, he liked our presentation…Thought it was the best of the three that were given…& seriously it really was, even I’ll say that one. The second one wasn’t too bad, they had a good visual that really brought the one point home. The third group though…OMGs…They had a regular novel to read…But they did a terrible job…They had one person pretty much read a summary of the story…Iti didn’t really focus on the ethical implications of the story at all…It was…Blah.
As for Detective Fiction…I haven’t a clue on that one either. *shrugs* I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

I still haven’t sent out Christmas cards…I’m going to have to do that tomarrow…I did get the pictures I needed of the Critters printed out to put them in the cards. They will be lates.

Sonja was extra cute today…She was sitting on the love seat surrounded by D&D books. *laughs* She was looking up monster information, the weapons…Not for D&D purposes, but for her own story writing. & OMGs…I need to get some of her recent drawings scanned into the computer, she is doing really great.

& in my minds usual fashion…It’s returned to thoughts of Wasil…
If I could afford it I’d buy a plane ticket…He’s changed from paying for the whole thing to paying for half (which I could agree too, but the scheduling isn’t working out)…He’s willing to pay half on a bus ticket (Which I’m contemplating too)…Gods…If I had a vehicle that was capable…I think I might even talk myself into driving! None of these thoughts are like me at all…Yet…For some reason…I’m willing to do this. It makes no sense.

Okay…Sleep is a necessity…Or so I’ve been told. I haven’t been getting very much of it of late though…I was up till after 4  (again) last night…Wasil has gone to bed already tonight though…& I’m suppose to be going there as well…In all of my confusion.