Another late night/early morning update

Homework front:

3-D design-done (was done Thursday night)

Eastern Religions-done (though need to find a new article before Thursday)

Photography- History of Photography related paper…Done! Still need to take pictures of shapes…(Though suppose those aren’t needed to be done till

Tuesday…But they do need developed by Wednesday.)

Creative Writing- Yeah…Need to do something about that. I’ve got chapter 2 read, stuff on Point of View. I’m suppose to read two stories in the anthology section, not sure I’m going to bother though. And…I still need to write my second assignment, which is due Monday.

Okay…Suppose I should get to the real reason I’m up at this hour, and writing this.

Went to B.C.P. again tonight, this time at closing.
The reason Todd didn’t call last night is because he didn’t get out of there till 3 AM. He was guessing he wasn’t going to be getting out of there till 3 AM again tonight. [He opened up the back door and showed me how bad the kitchen looked…It was a mess. O.o]

Long story short…Todd realizes he’s not boyfriend material…He wants to go out and party and what not. He still ‘likes me’ and still wants to hang out…But, like I’ve already wrote…He knows he’s not boyfriend material. He doesn’t really know what he wants. (His words) He doesn’t want to ‘settle down’…The whole get married and children thing. Told him I didn’t want to get married and wasn’t looking for anyone to raise my children for me.

So…I guess that means I’m single once more.

Not going to lie, or pretend, or any such thing…Yes, I do love him, and yes this fucking hurts. But…I also know I’m not going to die, I’ll make it through this, somehow.

In all honesty…I’ve never felt for anyone how I’ve felt for Todd. There was this…Something…
Will I ever find it again? I don’t think so…

Am I going to go looking? Not at this point in time. I’m not interested in trying to find someone…I don’t want a replacement…No one could replace him.

Well…I suppose that is it for now…